"The security situation in the country of America, otherwise known as The United States, has deteriorated from questionable to alarming. The cold blooded murder of infants in baby carriages, dismemberment, cannibalism, the prolific random gun violence, the dishonest, secretive, and despotic government, the failing economy and the blatantly pornographic mainstream media has now forced the Syrian State Department to warn any victims of the current Syrian conflict to avoid seeking refuge in America."
