New Drug Record Set

A new record has been set for the shortest elapsed time between a new medication being approved and sold to the public and a class action lawsuit involving that drug.

The newly approved pain medication Relievaplax was approved for prescription in January of 2012 and today has been named as responsible for dozens of deaths across the Nation. The new record of 4 months 3 days breaks the old record set in 2010 by the breast cancer treatment tablet Uroflex, which was determined to cause birth defects 14 months after it was approved for human consumption.

Law schools across the country are fast tracking class action lawsuit students to meet the increasing demand of class action lawsuits.

"As soon as we graduate one class, another ten drugs claim a few thousand more victims," said Yale Law School Dead, Tom Fibbins. "We expect every drug approved for use will be responsbile for deaths. Our only fear is that the rain forest will be obliterated so soon that no ingredients will be available to mix into deadly concoctions."

How Much Do I Owe?

Saw a PBS interview that estimated that every child born today already owes 1 million dollars toward the deficit. Thanks Enron! I'm really curious how this is going to all play out. The whole house of cards will crumble but people will still be alive so something has to follow. We're really playing with monopoly money and lately I've been musing that the same scenario that eradicated the American Indian is taking place again. Land is all important. There is no record of the flim flam that happens to allow small groups of people to own land. All that matters is who owns it and who defends it. So, after the collapse the only thing that will matter are the people who claim to be the owners of land (banks)...and the people they employ to defend that claim (thugs). It's been the  model of Feudal England and Colonial America. But it has evolved into deeds and broken treaties and exploding loans. Hell, all the evidence points to a ruling that most of America was seized illegally from the Indians. AND IT MAKES NO DIFFERENCE.

Something That I Wish I Didn't Know

This has been a long time coming. I'm trying to present my disdain for humanity in one pretty package. But that means I need to have topical music and current events at my disposal and then make a single skit that entertains while also venting some of my distate. Not as easy as it sounds. Of course parodies aren't original and there are already parodies of this particular song but I think mine is pretty good since it uses the original title slightly transformed in wording and usage. I give it to the world.

Something That I Wish I Didn't Know

Music by Gotye (Am, G for the verse, then Am, G, F, G, from the first chorus on)

Lyrics by Oggy

Most the time I wish I didn't know what was happening.

the news is so gruesome that I want to puke.

Then I turn the Internet on

And suddenly my serenity's gone.

MSNBC and CNN I hate you...

If I read another story about Global Warming I'm gonna die.

The Economic Collapse doesn't cheer me up.

What's this, another family dead?

That missing girl they just found her head.

What the hell is wrong, and why can't I turn away.

Headlines I Wish I didn't Read

Dolphins die after being poisoned with a heroin substitute most certainly dropped into their pool by drug dealers at a rave that rented the area around the dolphin pool. Pray that God hates dolphins.

McDonalds worker is pimped out as hooker. Gives new meaning to the term "Happy Meal". Complained that her bowels were injured and she "Vomited after performing felatio." Then she married her pimp.

Korean health drug is actually made of dried dead babies.

These are all stories I'm trying to work into a song that sums up my disdain for people. I'm going to have to steal a melody from some song. Ah, maybe that Gotye tune. It's easy and topical. Let me get to work on that.

Childhood Revisited

I try to avoid any mention of professional sports because it's all a racket to sell after shave lotion. When I was a teenager I played baseball and thought I had the talent to make money. I was the only one who thought that was true. I also loved the Red Sox despite their long love affair with 4th place. But in 1986 I thought all the pieces had come together for an ultimate victory. This is expanded upon in my book, Memorabilia, soon to be released in digital format, for download to your e book reader but it is currently available for free.