Friday, March 22, 2013

Lanny Barby Tribute Song

Maybe pop culture has finally caught up to my bottomless irreverence and disdain. I'm trying to be honest from now on...and also catch the zeitgeist of my a timeless way. I think the only thing an artist can do is be true to himself and his age...hopefully completely true to himself and his age...and then he might make something timeless. If you aim for timelessness then you won't get it. The best thing I can say about anything is that it comes from the heart and has no commercial aspirations.

If I had about $10,000 I could make a pretty funny video for this. Of course $9,000 of that budget would be to hire Lanny to star in the video...and the way I visualize it would be walking in circles around a fountain playing my guitar and Lanny is sitting down in all the park benches (either quick costume changes or a green screen) and I walk past her as she flirts with me and I'm too distracted singing the song. Yes, I would hire a porn actress and not fuck her...because I've got problems. Maybe I'll make a Kickstarter campaign...
Other than the mockery of Jack Johnson and the lack of a Bruno Mars melody to parody, the inspiration is the fatal irony of the current hip crowd like The Bloodhouse Gang singing "The Ballad of Chasey Lain"
add this to the list of songs inspired by erotic actresses.
I'm not immune to any of it...

The Lyrics of the song are here if you can't understand what I'm saying. The chords are based on a capo at the 3rd fret so I'm playing in Bb, a key that actually suits my voice. But it's a revolving G, C, G, D progression with an A7 thrown in there once in a while. I don't think it will show up in a campfire songbook any time soon. And I'll be leaving the lyrics home when I go perform at the old age facility...they prefer Sinatra.

Lanny Barby Tribute Song

You came into my life
a download video tramp
taking two guys at one time
Lanny, your ass blew my mind

I wish that you knew
how many times you helped me sleep at night
you even got my girlfriend off
which was something I never got quite right

Lanny, I won't forget you
Your tattoos stretch my underroos
But Lanny you said goodbye too soon
And I feel like I'm the only guy in America
who didn't cum in your mouth

It isn't fair, Lanny
I'm the guy who loved you through and through
I didn't care, Lanny
if you got fucked by ten guys or two. (If your tits/face were covered in man goo)
Your long dark hair was beautiful
and when you dyed it blonde that was cool too
But when you spread your legs real wide
and whispered "put that big cock deep inside
my ass," that's when I knew, Lanny
you're the girl for me
and I'm the guy for you.

I don't care what my mom thinks
And my dad will understand
when I take a wedding ring
and put it on your pretty hand

cause now that you're not sucking cock for cash [retired in 2009]
I thought we could get some coffee or tea
and if you just want to fuck me, Lanny
That would be perfectly fine with me

Lanny, I know your tits are fake
but I had surgery on my asshole once
so if you had like 200 guys fuck your asshole
and I had a team of surgeons cut my asshole open
that means we're meant for each other
it's like destiny.

repeat Chorus

I beat off so many times watching you get fucked
I feel like we know each other
I wouldn't trade a single thing
for all those moments of sin

So maybe you could do a few scenes with me
I'll meet you anywhere
or we could just hang out
I swear I won't cum in your hair.

I forgot to get an "in action" picture so I snapped a quick one at the library.

Words and music by Oggy Bleacher
Creative Commons License
Man in the Van by Oggy Bleacher is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 3.0 Unported License.