Thursday, April 22, 2010

Tennis Anyone?

My second personal ad in as many months. Let's see what kind of action this one gets.

I've been metaphorically hitting the ball against a backboard for too long. Get your racket out of the closet and meet me at the Mill Pond tennis courts. If you have a private court then that's even better. I normally play in long pants but if you like a man in '70s style short shorts then we can work something out as long as you agree to play tennis in a catholic school girl's uniform.
either email me or go to the courts in the afternoon and bring your game face. If you play to win then so will I. If you play for fun then I'm just going to win every time until you beg for mercy. My punishing serves will leave you breathless and pale.
My name is Oggy.

Reading this ad again it's sexual overtones are hardly hidden. I was trying to attract a mate to tennis like a bee finds a flower. But now I think someone will read this and think I was using tennis as a cover for wanting to get laid. I also want that but I really want to play tennis. Sex lasts like ten minutes. Tennis can take hours to finish. I can talk about tennis at the coffee shop. There are no condoms involved with tennis. Tennis is where my head is right now. I guess I wanted to make tennis sound sexy and instead I made sex sound tennis-y.

Here's one response...

PortsmouthHi! I read your message on Craigs List !I am Tabitha.To me 25 years , very kind and sexy girl, I live in Portsmouth We can meet in some motel in Portsmouth today or tomorrow!

Tabitha, how are we going to play tennis in a motel room?

I took the ad down due to the quality of responses I was getting. I'm just going to play tennis every day until someone challenges me.

Creative Commons License
Man in the Van by Oggy Bleacher is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 3.0 Unported License.