Dockside Tribute

About 1 year ago I decided only Funerals and Weddings will get me on a plane. The conventionality and generic cattle car treatment I receive in standard travel is like volunteering to be strip searched by an underpaid condescending immigrant...and since I've lost so much weight in the 110 heat all my pants fall down around my ass when I take my belt off. And when I take my boots off everyone can see my crippled toes...and I have to take my rings off...and my bracelets and my arrowhead necklace...and every pack of peanuts costs $5. It's a fucking insult.

This wasn't in Texas

During this last trip I amended that decision to 1 Funeral and 1 Wedding...so someone better get married to get me on a plane because my funeral quota has been met. This trip didn't really qualify as a funeral but it was family, so although I have frozen to death mere miles from the warm houses of my family, been evicted from parking lots, lived at a halfway house, etc while they shrugged and pointed fingers from across the street*...I still recognize my blood relatives. I haven't been disowned by sheer perseverance and emotional decay.

I am planning an illustrated essay of this last trip but I'm feeling unmotivated. I do want to point out that my breakfast plans for the morning of my departure were aborted when the TSA goon casually tossed my milk in the trash. This sign specifically makes milk an exception to the 3 ounce rule. I wasn't pissed because it is petty and I am overfed like lactose intolerant swine and this was merely one of a series of personal violations I expected to tolerate in my travels. Compared to the shit smothered toilet seat in Dallas, this was quite minor.

"Permitted: Milk...(except when you are Oggy. Then we throw it in the garbage.)"

"...the security officer will immediately throw them away..."

My uncle's musical tastes were about the same as mine (gospel, bluegrass, folk) so it was my pleasure to sing his soul up to the great sailboat regatta in the sky... where the wind is always fair and the sea is always the sea.





*Lest I forget they made sure I had leftover thanksgiving turkey in aluminum foil that would instantly freeze in my van. THANKS!