Jack in The Box Crew Totally Makes Fun of You

Sources confirmed today that the night crew of the local Jack in The Box that you go to "totally talk shit about you" once you drive away.

An employee who agreed to speak on the condition of anonymity said, "Of course we make fun of you when you drive away. Who wouldn't?"

The employee said that nothing was off limits once you were out of hearing range and listed the topics of unbridled mockery as, "Music, voice tone, speech patterns, clothes, menu selections, vehicle type, family, weight, skin color, everything."

Reality

I've been writing a song about Harry Connick Jr. for almost a year. That's longer than it took Bruce Springsteen to write and record the entire "Born To Run" album. It's a simple song that states my wish to be like Harry Connick Jr., or more accurately, to actually be Harry Connick Jr.