Sunday, December 7, 2008

mexican scam

I just heard about a scam that is done in Mexico that you should hear about. They steal or find my cell phone, Call you and say I'm in the hospital and You need to wire money to get me a doctor. It's like virtual kidnapping. I guess they could steal my phone and say they kidnapped me too, but I kind of like the angle of saying I'm sick and can't talk and you need to send money and there is no time for you to fly down there. Anyway, don't send any money. This scam could happen in Los Angeles too. Your number is right on my cell phone. I'm not sure how to protect against it. Just insist on seeing proof. I shouldn't even carry my cell phone. nothing is safe.
all for now

Fashion Rules

picture me in the bowels of a Target receiving warehouse, surrounded by plastic
toy bikes "Made in China". Dozens of mexican girls in red target shirts walk
around using laser scanners to scan bar codes off giant cartons of diapers. I'm
assembling a little girl's bike "misty" and putting the plastic streamers into
the handlebars by licking the plastic end and forcing it through a little hole.
I'm wearing ear plugs not only because of the impact wrench I use but because of
the hip hop music coming from a nearby boom box. I pause to ponder my life and
see a sticker on the side of the misty bicycle, on the side of every misty
bicycle across the country in every target store getting ready for thousands of
little girls on Christmas morning. What does the sticker say?
"Fashion Rules!"
It's truly horrifying. You don't want to know what the Barbie bike sticker says.
ten seconds later I slice my finger open on a jagged piece of metal left over
from the Chinese factory. A target "team member" walks by and says, "Nigger,
please". Over the loudspeaker I hear a tony bennet Christmas song cut off by
"Good evening Target guests. Could Angela please come to housewares. Could
Angela please come to housewares."
This was a job I should have passed on. I could just buy a bike and take it
apart. I'll give all the money I make to charity.

in hiding

I had to move into the backyard of my old house. The police raided Third street and they came with guns. So I'm assembling bikes and keeping my head above water for the next month. Have you seen the news lately? I've very concerned. Am I dreaming? It's like some graphic novel has come to life. Trillion dollar bailouts. Factories closing. Groups of Chinese going on tours in California to buy houses. Driving in luxury suvs purchasing houses. HOME BUYING TOURS!! Vast areas of Arizona being leased to oil companies. No water. Which brings me to the latest shitty Bond movie. What complete shit. It makes Bond a sissy. And it was as confusing as hell. hard to follow. too jumpy. When you can't get a good Bond movie then things are really bad.
I'm baffled by everything...and distracted...probably depressed. It's like every man for himself. I only feel right when I'm playing guitar. That's it. That's my only outlet.
Was there much chaos over there when Mumbai got attacked?
Creative Commons License
Man in the Van by Oggy Bleacher is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 3.0 Unported License.