Thursday, September 29, 2016

Preparing for Armageddon

suspension training
I know that my daily Law Enforcement assaults will require stamina and strength so I made some suspension straps to exercise and harden my muscles so they can take the abuse. It irks me that I could go to the most impoverished mud hut village in Nicaragua and be guaranteed a public gym for $1 a day visits where many people exercise and immediately I see that America is filled with Obese Whatafuckingburger addicts in spandex waddling back and forth to overpriced fitness centers that cost $24 minimum to take a shit. So I must adapt and make one more aspect of my life public so people can point and say, "look at the hippie dancing like a crazed monkey dangling from straps off his chreepy van. Let's call in a bomb threat so the police will give him shit and maybe execute him in his underwear in the parking lot. hahaha" I will make a whole tutorial video on how to live in a van and shit in a bucket and exercise with straps and shower nude in parks without being convicted of a sex crime. And I will post this video to the internet and maybe make a penny every time someone watches it and clicks on a 'like' button because I want to be as vain as possible.
Creative Commons License
Man in the Van by Oggy Bleacher is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 3.0 Unported License.