Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Disney Tramp Celebration

I keep watching not because it's interesting it's because I can't believe that's all it takes to get 7 million views a day. This is so boring and monotonous. I don't want to pretend Madonna and Cyndi Lauper didn't push the sex card when I was 17 years old, but am I being an old man by claiming they had talent? Run DMC were talented. If DMC and Madonna had made a video in the segregated 1980s it would've been awesome. But Miley Cyrus is actually banking on her manufactured Disney innocence. It's incredible that no one heeded my warning 4 years ago that she was going to turn all your daughters into whores...but I'm an asshole. Now we have a talentless pseudo-ho with fake tattoos, smoking in a kind of parody of tramp celebration.
But the worst I can say about this is that it's not raunchy enough, not interesting, not titillating, not sexy, not good. It's not even original with cliche cheerleaders and smoking in the girl's room and lipstick close ups...those images have all been beaten to death by every hack director in history. It's not a parody but the images are on the edge of redundant and satirical...but they are they are going to reintroduce base soft core porn to all the 17 year old girls cutting themselves in their middle class bedrooms. So terribly predictable. It's dull...but the production value is high. It's actually grotesque for many reasons I don't want to go into. Call me a prude but Debbie Reynolds never went through a "anti-establishment" phase. That role is pure marketing..corporate suits manipulate Miley so she can manipulate girls everywhere...and we'll use dope smoking rappers as our fall guy, like Miley is being debased by a gang of black thugs...ahahaha...and she'll be rescued by Hostess Twinkies!
  On the other hand, this Trae Tha Truth is fucking hilarious.

No Room To Spare

This is what my dash cam would look like.

This highway is about as wide as the road I would walk to high school on. That speed limit was 25. 65 is treated as the minimum here. Health Officials ordered everyone to boil their water due to contamination. But when you boil it the crude oil from Colorado spills ignites.

More Mouths To Feed

9 = Oggy's Lucky Number
Does anyone know how to care for 7 8 9 new born puppies living under a metal storage shed? This seems to be my fate in life to encounter as many wayward dogs in dangerous predicaments. I absolutely don't want dogs but if I take the male dog to have his nuts chopped off I'll have to go through a bunch of shit only to let it loose again. The others men ask me, "Aren't you happy? You get to have a puppy." and my face drops as all recognition of the present moment is eclipsed by memories of certain puppies in Santa Cruz who met the worst deaths possible one by one as Oggy was hobbled by idealistic rumors and helplessly watched the world devour their innocence. Maybe this time will be different...and maybe all the homeless people will unite and sing Christmas carols for charity.

Humble Beginnings
Creative Commons License
Man in the Van by Oggy Bleacher is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 3.0 Unported License.