Wednesday, September 24, 2008


the man in the van felt guarding his possessions by installing an alarm in the van would be the right move. Someone had already patched into the wires and set up an alarm but the actual siren and the brain box were dead on arrival. So TMIV bought the exact same alarm system and swapped out the brain and the antennae and a few other wires...and it actually worked. He left the old siren so maybe someone would cut it thinking it's going to disable the alarm and then used the new alarm and put it in the cabin. Of course, if someone really wanted to steal the van they would just take it with the alarm blaring and disconnect the battery once it was started. Please don't!

Oops I live in a van

With apologies to Mrs. Spears and the writer of this popular demand, the man in the van has tweaked the tune a little to match the times.

The lyrics to : Oops I Live in a Van

(verse 1)
I think I pissed in a jug
it's all I have
don't call me a scrub

I shower every day
at the same place I shit
it's two miles away

(pre chorus)
But to sleep on the sidewalk
is just so typically me

Oops I live in a van
I don't have a job
I don't have a plan

You might think I'm a bum
that I live on the run
but I'm not gonna change my ways

I own a '69 Ford
it's got no brakes
cause I can't afford...them

Stop! Don't step on the gas.
We'll surely crash
then what would I do.

(pre chorus)

what would jesus do?

One thing I love about Venice is the funny guerrilla art that springs up when no one is looking. I just think about all the things people ask WWJD? Like marital problems and kidney failure and world crisis and crime and death and hurricanes. And this is the answer. Wow. Who knew?

good night man in the van

This is the last installment in the day in the life:

a final goodnight from the man in the van. using his red LED night vision flashlight. this day was a little busier than usual but the people he met and the average experiences were about normal. Of course this day didn't differ too much from his life when he was living in the $1.2 million dollar house and paying $2400 in rent and managing two tenants and all the bills except he was wasting tons of water and electricity then and now he's pretty much a drop of seagull shit on a giant carpet of seagull shit.


This is the second to last part in a day in the life:
The last stop before the man in the van returns to the van.
He did some stretching and light weight work. The sauna was about 220 degrees so he skipped that. most importantly, boys and girls, the man in the van took a shower. sometimes he takes two showers a day. But he doesn't want to waste water so one is enough. then he changed his clothes and was ready for a few more days of fun in the sun.

Creative Commons License
Man in the Van by Oggy Bleacher is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 3.0 Unported License.