Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Earwig + Oatmeal

4am - scavenging for breakfast so I can get to work making Robot components. Trip on piano in the haze. I play it all the time and am consciously aware of how learning to play The Entertainer is an insane act when it takes this much work. But I don't care. It's like learning to speak Mayan...and then moving to France.
4:14 - All out of cereal and milk. All out of bananas. No food at all. An old rotten apple. Vodka. Ramen noodles?
4:30- almost going to be late for work. I find some old oatmeal I bought at the halfway house in Laconia in November. That'll work. Just add to boiling water. Simple!
4:40 - Brush teeth and wince when I look at myself in the mirror. More gray hair than brown. Teeth yellowing. Take three aspirin and hope the pain in my back goes away.
4:50- Did I forget the oatmeal. Shit! Run to the stove. Well, it's done, at least. Pour it into the bowl. Add brown sugar and maple syrup. Then more maple syrup. Then some more until it is a little bit of oatmeal in a soup of maple syrup. Fuck it. I'll be dead by afternoon.
4:51 - After a few spoons of oat and syrup I spot a twig in the bowl. I spoon it out and realize it is a dead earwig.

4:53 - determine that since I boiled the hell out of the oatmeal and that I'm dying and since people are starving in Haiti I decide to just eat the oatmeal after flipping the boiled earwig outside.
4:58 - Hi Ho Hi Ho it's off to work I go!
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Man in the Van by Oggy Bleacher is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 3.0 Unported License.