Thursday, March 18, 2010

Ti Jean 1922-1969

Against all odds, waking up with sockless Chicken Man Ken vomiting in my bathroom (some guys get girls underwear on their floor, I get Ken's filthy socks) and nearly fainting on I-95, napping in a rest area mid trip, navigating the 85mph Haverhill traffic, I made it to Lowell (Where everyone apparently doesn't know that the white figure on the walk sign means walk)... to summon Kerouac's spirit and was even driven to the Edson Cemetery by the lovely Claire...who read a poem left by Amy on the stone. Claire and I dined at Life Alive, a raw food eatery in Lowell that had damn good wraps and soups and grain salads. Any place that prepares quinoa is worth a visit...although Claire is probably thinking that answering personal ads that have the word "lunatic" in the title probably isn't a great idea. I think my whole chicken farming documentary should be a secret until it is actually completed. I've got the majority of the footage of chickens and goats in the can but the way I described it today was like a terrorist plot. The Kerouac plot is at Lincoln and 7th in the Edson Cemetery on Gorham rd going south out of Lowell downtown. Bring a pen and a poem.

St. Patricks Day Called and it wants its vodka back

The goal was to get kicked out of the Press Room but they did me one better by barring me from entering at I read my poem in the street until the police came.
Then I got boomed out of Booma Post.
And in a dirt bag bar like the Daniel Street Tavern I somehow made I'm the asshole all of a sudden.
"That's it. You need to go." Said the bartender as I reached for the zippers on her tartan skirt.
"You so want to kiss me right now, don't you," were my last words in that establishment.
This lass was not flirting in any way, shape or form. This was a picture I took as I was dragged away.
The best back up plan I've ever heard for a man shot down is, "I thought I saw a green light." Saying that on St. Patrick's day is even more clever. The woman will think you were either too dumb to see she loathed you from the start (which is flattering to her) or she will be flattered that you saw the green light she allowed for an instant but your methods were clumsy and not worthy of her. There are one liners for offense and defense. The modern man should be familiar with both. All bets are off if you've had too much to drink.
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Man in the Van by Oggy Bleacher is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 3.0 Unported License.