Thursday, November 19, 2015

Hairy Ape Flies in Tube at 35,000 ft.

When is traveling at 450 mph high above an ocean a good idea?
Oggy is a land mammal but sometimes he fools himself that he can fly. I recently returned to Costa Rica from a tour of the land of ice and snow. I'm glad I'm back and am going to the beach in Nicaragua to drink mojitos and swim in dangerous rip tides for a month to recover the feeling in my fingers. It's no good living that far north. For me, the ideal latitude is between 0 degrees and 20 degrees. 23.000 is the tropic of Cancer. God help you if you live north of 25 degrees. But 40 degrees and further north is simply insane. I've been to 66 degrees north, which is the Arctic Circle, and I didn't like it one bit. No, sir. I saw the northern lights in February and at -35 F my breath crackled into ice as it left my mouth. A deep breath brought tears to my eyes, which instantly froze my lashes shut. So, watching the northern lights is costly.
who is that elderly hippie?

I hope this starts a new chapter of creativity and invention in the tropics. I should be able to control those forces by now but I'm helpless, fearful, scorned and distraught. 
moe still packs a punch
I've been missing my steroid injections since I was gone but I managed to smuggle some back along with the ignition points and some black market spark plugs so I should be able to get my priorities in order. I also brought back some bikini brief swimwear that I had to order from a blatantly gay website. Like, only homosexual men are allowed to wear spandex bikini swimsuits?
finally, a denomination I can support.
Seems discriminatory, and wrong, and I decided wearing the same board shorts as a 19 year old crack dealer, when I am almost 50 years old, was also wrong. So, I bought spandex swimsuits that rides tight up my ass and stretches around my junk. Bungie smugglers, they are called in Australia. I don't know if I will take pictures of this obscene sight, but I also have a guitar you'll be interested in hearing.
This was custom made for the acoustics of the van

All in good time.

Creative Commons License
Man in the Van by Oggy Bleacher is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 3.0 Unported License.