Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Person Points Out Spelling Error In Comment and Feels Superior for 2 Seconds...

Cyberspace, today

In the website CNN.com's article about the death of skater Nancy Kerrigan's father, an interesting exchange occurred. In the comment portion one guest observed that alleged murderer, Mark Kerrigan (Son of the murdered Kerrigan) was a "moron." He (or she) included the belated advice to not "get all hoped [sic] up on goof-balls..." Goof balls is the street term for barbiturates such as phenobarbital. Aside from this unsupported accusation, the poster omitted one "p" from the comment and therefore created a malapropism as "hoped" is a past tense form of the verb "to hope". Although one can translate the comment, this renders the sentence literally meaningless, as another anonymous poster pointed out 46 minutes later, thus turning an article about a tragic patricide into a lesson in proofreading.
The exact transcription is as follows:

Guest 1
Dont get all hoped up on goof-balls and beat up on your elderly father. They are fragile.

Ha ha, moron.

Guest 2
Haha, moron! You said hoped up! "I sure like to hope up!"

You meant hopped up! Whose the moron now....YOU!

Guest 2 not only clarified but corrected Guest 1. "Hopped up" is the correct action phrasing for stimulants such as speed and secobarbital, as the verb "to hop" most accurately describes one who has indulged in metabolism-altering drugs. Guest 2 seemed to believe this clarification was not only necessary but was worth berating and insulting the original poster. What Guest 2 failed to point out is the lack of an apostrophe between the n and t of dont is yet another typo. Furthermore, in his own comment Guest 2 misuses the word "Whose", which is the possessive form of "who" instead of using "Who's" which is an abbreviation of "Who is." as in "Who is the moron now?"

The important thing is that the original purpose of the article has been completely obliterated as random allegations now range from Mark Kerrigan's sobriety to the public's ability to type. Public Opinion just became instant, permanent, and quotable.

In other news a guest watched a blowjob video on shavedasian.com and commented "Id totly fuck her."

Dear Holden Caulfield,

This is where the ducks in Central Park go in the wintertime.

If you must butter your bread...use butter.

Margarine is but ONE MOLECULE away from being PLASTIC... and shares 27 ingredients with PAINT

Hannah Montana is the margarine of the music business.
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Man in the Van by Oggy Bleacher is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 3.0 Unported License.