Sunday, May 12, 2013

Old Man Probably Buying Last Car Battery

84 year old Dwayne Richards figures that this is the last car battery he will ever buy, Richards reported on Sunday.
"Yeah, I got about 5 years out of the last battery and I've been getting treatment for heart disease and prostate cancer, so, yeah, this will probably be the last car battery I buy."
Doing some math in his head he concluded, "I'll never make it to 89. I don't even want to make it to 87. My grand kid graduates college next year. I figure that will be it. They don't need me around."

Sources reported Richards had a massive cardiac arrest while carrying the car battery to the car.

President Declares May 13 "Visit Your Neighbor's Basement" Day

"It's come to this," says President

Citing the chilling discovery of a basement dungeon in urban Cleveland, a veritable torture chamber and sex prison maintained for a decade under the noses of an entire city, President Obama has declared May 13th 2013 "Visit Your Neighbor's Basement" Day.

With one swipe of his pen the President hopes to encourage neighbors to actually knock on the doors of their neighbors and visit one know, like a real neighborhood.

Milk Cow

texas storm
storm on the plains

Obama Care Works: Milk Cow Blues at his new luxury apartment

I'm laughing to think of the documentary that I'd make of Milk Cow and his spiral towards death. The Puerto Rican fags. The Vicodin, the crippled feet, the spine problems, falling down in the street and having a car full of kids run his new glasses over...his beer spilling like tears. Now the ragged tent near the abandoned chicken coop. The challenge would be to make the audience laugh with him and not at him. But humanity has become so ironic and self absorbed that nothing is sacred. "It'll never happen again," they said of the Holocaust. So, 50 years later it's happening again and people are even more in denial now than before.
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Man in the Van by Oggy Bleacher is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 3.0 Unported License.