Friday, July 20, 2012

And Fuck You Temp Agencies

Miserable fucking asshole slave trading c#$^s! I pissed in your cups again and had you tell me which opioids I had been using and Cocaine, and Meth and Pot. God, this country is so fucked in the ass if you have men trying to find honest work with their cock in their hands pissing into a cup ON THE DAY OF THE FUCKING INTERVIEW, my gray pubic hairs and withered scrotum somehow being relevant to the urine in my bladder and my swollen prostate and my ability to assemble electro-mechanical components. You cock sucking assholes in the past and the future and present who mislead the freedom that was possible into the toilet of despair.

Gun Control Means Using Both Hands

I'll tell you that when I went cowboy hat shopping I was one of only three people in the entire store who wasn't wearing a Glock 9 semiautomatic handgun on a waist holster. I mean, seriously, almost everyone carries a handgun in Texas. And I did not feel the least bit afraid because you can instantly look at someone with a $100 cowboy hat and a holster that cost more than my van and know he's not wasting any bullets unless a punk with a video game fantasy wants to test his luck in a real life shooting gallery. The crossfire would be bad but there will be one or two casualties and not two dozen. And I promise that the trial will be postmortem.

Are you mentally Ill? Take this test...

Answer this simple question...your nation's crops are about to utterly collapse due to anthropomorphic climate change. You:
A) Stock up on Ben & Jerry's ice cream because prices will probably go up.
B) Call congressman because it must have something to do with the potholes in the highway.
C) Dust the bicycle off to reduce fuel consumption and pollution
D) Not a damn thing.

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Man in the Van by Oggy Bleacher is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 3.0 Unported License.