Friday, May 6, 2011

No Cause For Alarm

There were 312 tornadoes counted during that apocalyptic storm that covered 1800 miles and demolished Tuscaloosa. Me and the dog were hiding in the basement as a patio set flew over the fence. But under no circumstances should we change anything in our lifestyles. No. Ignore the fact our power company probably gives away cfl bulbs or sells them at low cost. Just look up your energy company and see for yourself. The climate is totally unrelated to energy consumption and pollution. Right? It's nature!

312 tornadoes in one day is not natural!

Dear god, that end of the world movie "The Day After Tomorrow" didn't even have 312 tornadoes happen in one day because it would've been too many to be plausible.

The climate change hippies keep saying it's going to take an apocalyptic event to change anyone's mind. Well, they're wrong. 312 tornadoes is apocalyptic and it was eclipsed in the news by the royal wedding and Osama's death. Did you see the town of Tuscaloosa? No, of course you didn't. I'm sure there were a million better things to do...and until the hurricane from hell knocks at your front door then it will be business as usual.

No, clearly the status quo will prevail. If Dali Lama isn't going to walk then why should we? In fact, even I don't think it matters anymore what we do. It takes centuries for rain forest acres to regrow and we're cutting it down like goats in a field of lavender. It will take a total collapse of society to rethink the climate and that collapse is right around the corner and it's probably unavoidable. CFL bulbs or no bulbs the atmosphere is over 450 ppm of carbon and climbing while 350 ppm is the upper limit of safety. What happens at 450 ppm? 312 tornadoes in one day. This is cause and effect.

I'm going to have to walk to Labrador and when I get there all the wolves will be marching south. "You don't want to go up there," they'll say.
"It's totally fucked."
"Well, you haven't seen where I come from."
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Man in the Van by Oggy Bleacher is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 3.0 Unported License.