Monday, August 19, 2013

Rocky Horror

Tim Curry
I love Rocky Horror Picture show. And I've always felt Tim Curry's performance is the greatest male role in film history. Am I wrong or merely drunk?

Master of Nothing

Surveying his dirt plot

Freddy Prequel

There was a time when it would've been distasteful to dramatize Freddy Krueger's initiation into killing children. But fortunately we've passed that point somewhere around the time Obama deleted any mention of his "I will protect whistle-blowers" promise from his own website because, gee, it sort of contradicted his policy of persecuting whistle-blowers. We're reaching end of days time for democracy. The lies are piling up and we're only one police force union disagreement away from total anarchy like you see in Egypt. People are real puzzled when they elect a slippery two-faced lawyer as President and they get a slippery two-faced lawyer as President. So, I figure in a drunken haze, with two strong XX by the wells fargo WD40 from my above the garage adventure to the homeless dream time, why not really let our pants down and shit in public? Why pretend we are dignified and have limits?

Cliff Dwelling

I'm having some kind of nostalgic flashback to when I was an Indian living in cliff adobe buildings and I had to climb a stick ladder to enter a room and then pulled the ladder up after me so no one could get in. I'm formulating my plan to move to Atlixco and build an adobe hut, partially underground but with mud rooms that can only be reached by a stick ladder. I'm not the first person to think of revisionist architecture but it gives me some dream to plan for other than an old age home out of tune piano.

Oggy's Future

Rooftop A/C Unit

When I'm too broken to do anything else then I'll sit on rooftops and bake in the sun to clean starter capacitor terminals of green oxide.

Two days after this procedure I heard some crackling from the roof. I looked up there and saw sparks flying out of the cover.
"What have you done, Oggy," I thought.
Then I had to drive the van next to the trailer since I didn't have access to the long ladder and an approaching thunderstorm made me vault into action. I climbed up there after shutting power down and climbed onto my van and then jumped across to the trailer roof, investigated and found that it wasn't my fault for once. The condenser wires were zip tied to the condenser pipe for so long they wore a hole in the insulation. I patched with electrical tape as the storm hit, buttoned it all down, and jumped back to the roof of my van. I must have A/C because I'm a pampered Westerner who thinks the world revolves around him and it would be intolerable to sleep without A/C.


At the Salvation Army breakfast at 4:30 am I would roll over on the floor of the dining hall, flick bed bugs and roaches left dying from the night heat, and fold my thin Yoga mattress up for storage. The night manager would flick the lights on and off and yell, "Git up!"
My spine threw knives through my arteries. Men farted and coughed. There were no phony "Good Morning" greetings at the leaking toilets. Most men groaned as their embattled prostates cried with relief, signifying the only pleasure they would feel for the next 14 hours. Then we drank water that looked like a coffee bean had been crumbled inside it. No cream. No sugar. Breakfast was cold toast and oatmeal and the conversation always came back to the food and my tears were lubricant like the lacking butter...

"I likes oatmeal," said a man to no one in particular. "Stick to your ribs. Makes you full up. Always eat two bowls if they have it." The toothless man would nod to me and my eyes betrayed my broken heart. Some were disabled like me, in chronic pain, waiting for checks that would never arrive.

The merciless day was coming and these men had less hope for improvement than a Hutu in Tutsiville.

I can't eat oatmeal without thinking of those morning pep talks I had.
Creative Commons License
Man in the Van by Oggy Bleacher is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 3.0 Unported License.