Saturday, September 15, 2012

Upbeat Blues

I'm like a codependent junkie who thrives on abuse so I give and give and it briefly entertains a handful of people and I crawl on bleeding knees trying to get affirmation. I actually fleshed this song out a bit in a blues fashion with a kind of bridge. It's a song and as soon as I get my piano then I'm going to be all set to record a few tracks. *The metal fabricator guy who is also a mechanic to the bone claims to be a musician. I'm going to get a piano and find out. There is no way I'm going to change oil in crappy '92 chevy pick up trucks without a piano waiting for me nearby. And I may make it a shop rule that I will not work on any truck that has a sticker of Calvin pissing on a Ford logo.

11 Bucks
words and music by Oggy Bleacher

simulated sex on a Saturday night
there's a rumor going round that Chico's shit is out of sight
there's a rumor going round that Chico's shit will blow your mind
and if you've got 11 bucks then I've got the time.
and if you've got 11 bucks then I've got the time.


writing love letters to girls who are dead
my pencil is broken it don't got no lead
my pencil is broken but the eraser works fine
and if you've got 11 bucks then I've got the time.
and if you've got 11 bucks then I've got the time.

there's a ringing in my head been going on for years
got a cold cup of coffee and a warm glass of beer.
got a cold cup of coffee and it tastes fine
and if you've got 11 bucks then I've got the time.
and if you've got 11 bucks then I've got the time.

My vocal chords are bleeding I got razors in my shoes
my inner child is bleeding because he's got the blues
my inner child is bleeding, a victim of a crime
and if you've got 11 bucks then I've got the time.
and if you've got 11 bucks then I've got the time.

"You must be looking for the shop that works on trucks owned by assholes. It's down the street."
And that goes double for any truck with those fake brass balls hanging off the receiver hitch. How fucked up is that? You get a brass scrotum hanging off your truck? Are you stupid? Take it to the shop down the road where they don't clean their fingernails. You think I'll be a mechanic without sophistication? Never. I'm going to be doubly sophisticated, a snob, I may speak with a German accent and act totally annoyed whenever someone drives up. Oh, Texans will love that.
"Vat is that Toyota truck? No. I vill not vork on Toyota or Chevy. Come back in de Ford, I vill vork. Toyota, Chevy, no."
"Vell, philosophically, the vater pump is ok. But I vant to replace it because I vill replace the thermostat anyvay and it looks like the drug dealer who owned this car before you didn't maintain it at all so ve can suspect the vater pump on basic ethical standards."

* After listening to this version I recognized the Lyle Lovett influence. Lovett's song craft is so effortlessly painless that I want to punch him in the face and I think I stopped listening to him because it wasn't fair how he could harmonize and rhyme all night long. At least Jackson Browne suffers for his songs. Lovett's songs seem to walk in the front door all dressed up for the ball. They both make me sound like the tone deaf love child of Sheryl Crow and Jimmy Buffett.

I Basically moved into the world of King of The Hill and Hank Hill has become my boss. Just imagine that.
Creative Commons License
Man in the Van by Oggy Bleacher is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 3.0 Unported License.