Monday, May 24, 2010

m4m - for a few dollars more

Just to show I am an equal opportunity pervert I have changed the craigslist adult services feed to male 4 male. Somehow I'm not as upset by a man in short shorts offering to give hand jobs for $150. Why is that?

I see some of the women who show ass crack and cleavage and I just think this is so sad that they show their ass and then write "Classy and discrete. Service with a smile." I think, god, what is going on? These women had mothers and first grade teachers and I was a kindergarten teacher and I was trying to teach kids to wash their hands and not insult each other and to appreciate birds and fish and "look at that sparkly rock" and we sang songs and danced and learned numbers and that girl is listing her numbers so you can call her and have her pounce on your balls in high heels. That's what makes me sad. That all that labor and hopes and dreams and little stars on their homework all end up being a $150 blow job in Van Nuys because the rent is high. I know not everyone is a hooker but I just get sad when I see all these women fucking for money. It gives me relief to see men doing the exact same thing. Gay or gay for pay. Who knows? They need money and there are gay men who will pay them to fuck their ass or get a blow job.

One guy once offered me money just to allow him to give me a blowjob.
"Close your eyes and it'll feel just like a cheerleader," he said.
Theoretically he was correct. Hell, I've had blowjobs from cheerleaders and they ain't nothing special. That guy, a black truck driver from Texas with big lips, could probably suck the tongue out of a cat's ass. It would feel better than a cheerleader. He's probably sucked a ton of cock in his day, more than any cheerleader, and he's got a cock so he probably knows how to get sloppy and nasty and not treat it like a damn crystal chalice. Furthermore, he was hungry for cock. Willing to pay me to suck my cock or even just watch me play with myself. He was horny from driving all day and really wanted to fuck me, to feel my cock in his mouth. The dude chased me down on the highway in an 18 wheeler. He was itchin' for dick. I can't say that about any girlfriend I've ever had. Can you? He could probably get me off in a minute. Except it's a black dude in a wife beater t-shirt at a truck stop in Louisiana. I mean, what the fuck? So...I passed on it even though I needed the money. It doesn't make me better. I'm just puritan like the folks in the Mayflower. Sorry. That's me. If I grew up in Los Angeles I would've 69'd that dude all night long and bought myself a nice steak dinner and hotel room with the money I made. But I'm from Portsmouth and I said no thanks and slept in my car.
And now there ain't no New World to go to so I rant on my velvet cushion.

oh I don't have any answers. It's all so mad.

Population Quiz

I was pondering the work that made the allied victory in WWII possible. It was done with 130 million people in the States and about 2.5 billion in the world. (1940 numbers.)

I like to think that since it was done once (a total paradigm shift) then it's possible again to change our approach to energy and resources. But then I remembered that we don't live in 1940 anymore.
Instead of 130 million people in the States all getting on the "Kill the Nazi Wagon" we have 300+ million who have to become hemp wearing hippies. A two fold increase.
Instead of 2.5 billion we have (gulp) 7 billion plus on the planet, including people like Paris Hilton who count as about 4000 Haitians in resource terms.

Between 1804 and 1927 was the time it took to go from 1 to 2 billion.
That's 123 years.
In 83 years we went from 2 billion to 7 billion.
We'll reach 8 billion in 2025, 5 years past the point of peak oil production and the agreed upon point of no return. It isn't 2012 like the movie says. 2020 is the projected point when resources will be completely taxed. We're already collectively using 5 times more than the earth can sustain. In 2020 fresh water will be more valuable than oil, and oil will be very valuable. World harvest yields will be threatened by climate instability. Fishing will be taught in history classes like how we demonstrate Indians heating acorns and grinding the flour for tortillas.

And the change that has to take place is among 8 billion people. 8,000,000,000. I predict an entire generation of people who will be janitors of the planet and you know when you go into a public bathroom and someone has shit on the seat? You know how you feel when you see the shit smeared on the seat and sometimes the wall? Ok, multiply that feeling by 8 billion and you will get an idea of how that generation is going to think about us. Facebook and youtube will be looked at like we look at spraypaint on a school wall...the ape-like scrawlings of inconsiderate infants who deserved a worse fate than we will eventually get.

I wish I had a punch line for this.

Locked in

You might call it dedication and you might call it being flaky for 11 hours and then trying to catch up the last hour and hustle through my job and still shrink wrap the pallets when everyone is punching out...and getting locked inside the warehouse with all the hockey equipment.
I got locked in a Target garden shed on Thanksgiving two years ago. They closed two hours early and I was totally hidden away with snot running out of my nose in an open air garden shed way behind the garden department where the bicycles for the Christmas orphan giveaway were getting staged. The rain poured on me as I tightened wheel nuts. They closed the store without chekcing on me and I finally packed up and was totally trapped in Target. That sucked.

Fortunately, my current boss saw my car in the parking lot and ran back to let me out the door. That and the blood blisters in my feet and sharp pain when I breathe will probably signal the end of my current job. Get in touch with me if you want the name of the temp agency who will hire you for this most excellent position.
I may have another gig lined up in Newburyport which means I can live at the Park N Ride parking lot and ride my moped to work. Anything to save a buck.

P.S. Medical question: when your prostate aches is it already too late to do anything about it?
Creative Commons License
Man in the Van by Oggy Bleacher is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 3.0 Unported License.