Wednesday, December 25, 2013

Saturday, December 21, 2013

Imagination

my memories of this Atchalachafaya salad are as blurry as the picture

Gas Flares in the morning. Freezing, knees feel like a broken analogy.

What The Bible Tells Me

Exodus is the second book of Moses. Genesis is the first book of Moses and was very hard to read as sections are repeated and repeated with slightly different phrasing so I kept thinking I had read that already and was tired and going in circles, but no, the book itself repeats sections. The second book is slightly more comprehensible but still painful to interpret. Moses apparently lived so long that he was able to remember not only the creation of the planet which happened 4.5 Billion years ago...but also he remembers the Egyptian Pharaohs and proto-Israeli slaves who coexisted in 2500 B.C.

Sunday, December 15, 2013

Report: Sad Man Buys Stocking Stuffer Candy To Eat on Hydro-Fracturing Project

Packaged candy intended for a child's Christmas stocking was recently purchased by Oggy Bleacher to munch on in the freezing cold and driving rain as he wrenches his back muscles installing 4'' rigid conduit. The brightly colored candy, on sale because of the impending holiday, was purchased by Mr. Bleacher without a trace of holiday spirit, only trying to find something affordable to keep his energy up for the 10 hours of manual labor in the sleet and hail.
"I don't give a fuck about Christmas," said Mr. Bleacher as he kicked the mud off his boots and winced from the stabbing pain in his neck, shoulders and back.
"And you can get the fuck out of my face before I punch you in the mouth," added the childless Bleacher.
Mr. Bleacher coughed some phlegm from his congested lungs and spit near the puddles of urine he had just produced to ease his throbbing prostate. With one hand on his infertile, withered cock he fed tasteless morsels of chocolate and caramel into his pale and Grinch-like mouth with the other.
"A couple more days of this and I will die in the mud like a damn confederate soldier, that would make you laugh wouldn't it? You'd just love to see me suffer, huh?" said Bleacher, as he dropped some Holiday themed chocolate onto the mud and his drooped and bleary eyes never blinked from the distant horizon.

Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Margaritaville

Everyone has HD cameras but I use my crappy flip phone camera...and get the worst picture.

This ridiculous 7/10 job has me pushing my hernia back into my belly when I bend over and whining like a child who lost his favorite toy truck. So I had no choice but to rally my nerves and go on a spending spree that would've made the Oggy of 2011 weep with the Chinese Slaves I trampled on. A beaver fur hat? A fancy tooled leather belt? Cologne? A Stetson pearl snap button shirt? You'd think I was getting married to Trisha Yearwood. Then an evening of gambling and sirloin steak at the casino Buffet.
"Searching for my lost shaker of salt..."
Now I can almost tolerate the 22 degree weather. The only way I can be more rock star is by buying a baby grand piano to put in my hotel room.



c
"I'll never forgive you, Oggy."

Thursday, November 28, 2013

In A Previous Life

I was a little disturbed to meet this old version of me. I never watched "The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis" on television. So I would never have met Maynerd G. Krebs, the resident beatnik sidekick of Dobie...inexplicably hanging around an Eisenhower culture, trying to fit in a diseased society...but also a pawn in the brainwashing machine, indoctrinating a generation of kids into thinking dirty bongo players were people to call the police on and throw eggs at and shoot shotguns at when they drove their van onto their street. Now I know the source of the hate I've been victimized by for 15 years...mindless programming of audience to hate hipsters while the entire ecosystem is devoured by dragons and wars fought by smug lawyers using poor ghetto pawns. The networks had their priorities perfectly aligned with the apocalypse and everyone swallowed the magic pill. I know the fate of Maynerd...they greased his ass with the slobber of the post-Kerouac Walking Dead and drafted Dobie to fight an Opium war in S.E. Asia. And the programming convinced people to go along with it like fucking obedient slaves. I got no problem "working" as long as I'm working for a culture that isn't a diseased variation of a Mississippi cane plantation. Until then, I'll beat the drums loudly in your self-serving neighborhood. Someone didn't eat the worm.
we even wear our watches on the same wrist!

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

That's What She Said

Working with 100% men leads to certain traditions of misogyny and sexual insinuations. It is probably the same through all the trades but in Industrial Electrical work with long lengths of rigid conduit buried and threading and cutting and pipe clamps there are some phrases and comments that always lead to someone breaking the tension with the response, "That's what she said."

Here are a few:

"It's too long..."
"I need one more inch..."
"There's dirt on the threads..."
"It won't fit..."
"My hands are tired..."
"Let me get my gloves and knee pads..."
"Put some thread lube on it..."
"Spray it with this [galvanized paint]..."
"I dropped the nut..."
"Push up..."
"It's hot..."
"It's freezing..."
"I'm hungry..."


You can see that almost anything can be twisted into a sexual connotation. It's totally awesome. Exactly how I like spending my days.

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Odds

In Roulette there are 36 numbers...plus a zero and a double zero. So, 38 possibilities. The pay off is 1:35 on hitting a given number. So if you covered every single number, betting $38, you are guaranteed to hit and win $35...thus losing $3 every spin. If you cover 37 numbers, then you only lose $2 but you also have a 1:37 chance of losing everything. And if you cover 36 numbers then you will lose $1 unless the ball lands in the two numbers you didn't cover. Cover 35 numbers and you break even...with 3 chances to lose everything.

Tonight, after eating a $25 buffet of fried ravioli and delicious broccoli soup, I covered 30 numbers...leaving 8 numbers uncovered...this is only feasible in a computerized speed roulette table because it takes too long to put a chip on every number in real roulette not to mention you have to climb over every pensioner pissing away her social security check for free mixed drinks. In computerized roulette the wheel and ball is still physical but you place bets on a screen and you never touch the germ ridden chips that caused me to be grievously ill this past week.

I started with $20, betting $0.25 every number, pretty much randomly chosen by my fingers. My total bet was $7.50. The payoff would be $8.75...for a profit of $1.25. I figured I had almost no chance to lose*...and decided to quit when I had doubled my bank. You can either bet in a way that has the odds against you, so you are praying a single number hits...or bet in a way that has the odds on your side so you pray a couple numbers don't hit. Let's see how this played out...

The first spin I hit #14. So my bank was $21.25. I did a dance on the smoky casino carpet with horseshoe patterns, replete with dusty losers...in pitiful Tuesday dress, the quiet sounds of distress and desperation filling the cancerous air.

Sunday, November 24, 2013

Desire

A Student in Expressions
I've been watching Vivien Leigh movies to get a full appreciation of her talents and to assuage my overwhelming loneliness. As a result, I have slightly changed my opinion on her rumored mental illness. I'm starting to think she actually sacrificed her life and reputation to delve into the character and relationships and drama of men and women...in real life...in order to have more experience to draw from when her character called for certain depth. I'm painfully aware of the costs to take ones art to another level. Most artists are content with pretending to act...drawing a line between their work and their life in order to maintain some kind of normalcy. A Hollywood mantra I heard more than once is, "The best acting isn't acting." Leigh seemed to decide that in order to really bring something new to the stage and screen she would need to dig deeper than usual into the heart of people and in order to do that she would have to break some rules. Eventually the lines became blurred and she couldn't or didn't want to return to normalcy. Such is the price of the intrepid explorer. Of course I will leave room in my theory for the possibility that she really was bat shit crazy and I'm merely being a foolish romantic...defending my lady's honor even after she is dead. Her acting mannerisms were developed on the stage, which explains her annunciation and professionalism, but her personality was definitely developed on her own time and at the cost of many broken hearts.* How else does one refine that kind of charm and dynamic charisma than by playing the field? I recall a woman cut from the same cloth as Scarlett O'Hara showing off my ring on her finger and lying to some lustful men in a Mexican cantina, "See? We're married."
"Married?" They asked.
"Of course," I replied. "Can't you tell by how miserable I am?"
And no one laughed.

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Rapture

You know you're in the deep south when you're standing idle with a shovel in hand and the boss walks by and says, "Is that what yew want to be doin' when the Lord comes back? Holdin' a sh'vel up and daydreamin' about gerls?"

The answer is yes, but since it was my boss I said no and got busy digging a trench.

Sunday, November 17, 2013

Isaiah 5

18 Woe unto them that draw iniquity with cords of vanity, and sin as it were with a cart rope:
Strumming chords of vanity

20 Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter!
21 Woe unto them that are wise in their own eyes, and prudent in their own sight!
22 Woe unto them that are mighty to drink wine, and men of strength to mingle strong drink:
23 Which justify the wicked for reward, and take away the righteousness of the righteous from him!

Woe Unto Vain Oggy traitorously singing Lynyrd Skynyrd



Wednesday, November 6, 2013

How to Play Blues Harmonica


One day I'd like to blow harp like a blind black man.

The People Speak Out Against Trump

I watched a documentary "You've Been Trumped" about Donald Trump's grotesque golf course project in Scotland. I was going to go on a tirade about how political methods of activism are not legitimate any longer because the whores of capitalism have infiltrated every corner of government and have totally corrupted it. I wish Wilfred Grenfell were alive today to guide me as I am morally lost between the shores of Ed Abbey and John Muir. Obviously someone like Trump has to be stopped but the question is how when he controls so much "money" that he can get Scottish universities to hand him honorary doctorates while destroying and undermining Scottish sovereignty at the same time. That's a hard act to pull off but it supports the old Scottish saying: "If you're in a whore house then don't quote the bible."

Trump reminds me of those dramatic depictions of slave owners who say, with mint julep in hand, "It's so hard to get them niggers to work. They're so lazy."

I really wish you could see the farm that Trump called "A Pigsty". Every crumb of food that Trump (and you and I) has ever eaten has come from a farm like that (we should hope)...only the humility of dirty farmers has allowed Trump to live at all. And his response is to completely slander and degrade one of them while destroying his backyard. It makes me sick to my stomach. I almost wish Trump would decide to develop Battle Harbor because it would really be a pleasure defending it...and I'm not talking about writing letters or circulating petitions.

I feel Americans empowered Trump...we legitimized his evil and now he is showing why you can't ever give an inch to this kind of diseased monster because he will never stop and it will spread and become even harder to stop. His goal is to turn every town into Las Vegas and unless someone stops him he will accomplish that. Turn a blind eye and you are as irresponsible as he is.

I could go on but instead I'll quote some youtube members and their comments which sum up my feelings:





owenstyles Donald Trump is a fucking cunt





StiLLMERedLeader I think we should start killing all of these money addict, lying sons of bitches. Maybe after a few are dead they will stop fucking up the world.






del690 I always thought Trump was a bit of a buffoon, but after watching this doc I now think he is one evil, disgusting, bastard.






Julius Caeser Unfortunately the money and power he has earned for himself has corrupted his soul with so much darkness and it sadens me he can no longer see this in himself, or perhaps he can..






Peter S. López Donald Trump is a sick psychopath, or would that be a sociopath?!?. This is a classic example of the cold cruelty capable of being exhibited by the evilness of the -1%






bongmistt The day that Trump dies will be one of history's greatest moments.

 





JOHN CRISP Donald Trump is everything thats wrong with the world today.

 





Colin Booth Trump is a slimy scumbag who uses power and money to advance on anyone or anything. He needs to be stopped!!!

 





seomoz im wondering why nobody shot him. what happened to fighting for ones land? kinda disappointing

 





ross200543 fuck donald trump

 





Grahame Thomson A disgusting and ignorant man.

 





Insanekid95 One of the most beautiful places in the world is being ruined!!!! FUCK THAT PIECE OF SHIT TRUMP!!!!!!!

 





paintchick1 Trump is a piece of shit

 





bufon63 I find it staggering that corporate scum like Thump has not to date been the victim of extreme violence. One day, I imagine.





Pop Can He is the epitome of why everyone hates America. A fat, ugly, rich, piece of crap who doesn't have any remorse for anyone, walking around like he's entitled to everything and then some.






thadopeman Trump is a cunt

blueinfinite @thadopeman don't insult the cunts of the world!!!

Monday, November 4, 2013

Duct Tape Free By 2014

I really got tired of looking at the duct tape keeping the elements out of the 5 holes in the van. I'm not learning much new at work so why can't I learn how to make mistakes fixing body work?

Damage from Surfing in Pacific then wearing wetsuit in van.
Sand down to metal, or, in Oggy's case, until you get bored.

I don't understand how you are supposed to keep the resin from dripping down the side of the van like Ice Cream at Pierce Island onto the windows while it is still liquid.

Cut Fiberglass cloth approx to fit over holes. Then dip the cloth in the resin.
 I also don't understand why the resin turned into a kind of jello maybe 40 seconds after I was done mixing it so the end result was a slope of moguls like at Sunday River.

Saturday, November 2, 2013

In Defense of Daylight Savings Time

The basic reason we set the clocks back on the 3rd of November is because if we did not then the sun would be rising at almost 8am in the morning, requiring first shift folk to do everything in the dark.

Length of daySolar noon
DateSunriseSunsetThis dayDifferenceTimeAltitudeDistance
(million mi)
Nov 2, 20137:46 AM6:42 PM10h 56m 12s− 1m 34s1:14 PM44.8° 92.229
Note: hours shift because clocks change backward 1 hour (See the note below this table for details)
Nov 3, 20136:47 AM5:42 PM10h 54m 39s− 1m 33s12:14 PM44.5° 92.206
Nov 4, 20136:48 AM5:41 PM10h 53m 06s− 1m 32s12:15 PM44.1° 92.182

But Wait! There's this thing called electricity. Electricity comes from fairies and elves in the forest mixing magical potions together to generate sparks that tickle lightbulb filaments. All is well with a limitless supply of electricity and...

Wait a second, Oggy, elves and fairies don't mix potions to create electricity!

You got me, dear reader. You're so fucking bright. YOU MUST'VE BEEN PAYING ATTENTION IN SCHOOL. Electricity is produced by coal plants, nuclear plants, geothermal plants and natural gas plants that heat water to use steam pressure to spin magnetic turbines inside giant copper lined cylinders. Since elves and fairies are not part of this process what must happen is the collection of coal and natural gas and uranium to make these power plants operate. Because your television programming IS THAT IMPORTANT.

Ever since clocks were invented it was probably obvious that 7 am in June was quite brighter than 7 am in January. Unless you live on the Equator. And since humans are so clever someone thought, "It would be awesome if we could manipulate the clocks so the hours between 8-5 had relatively the same amount of sunlight throughout the year."

And it turns out there is a way to do this by simply turning the hour dial on the clock backwards in the fall and forwards in the summer. Now, on Monday, instead of the sun coming up over Austin, Texas at 7:47am...when most people will already be in the warehouse assembling computer parts...the sun will come up at 6:47am when people will be on their way to the warehouse. That means, for one hour of darkness, the warehouse will be empty and the lights can stay off...and we can save electricity.

That's the theory.

Thursday, October 31, 2013

Congratulations Boston Red Sox



Top To Bottom Red Sox
I've tried to put my fanatic nature behind me because like a junkie who sucked cock for quarters to buy crumbs of crack I've gone to the depths of fanaticism that is beyond healthy. I've been in recovery. Years ago I took a bus and $100 to Fenway park, skipping school, carrying a lawn chair and a Hawaiian shirt. I slept outside Fenway Park near the Players Parking lot for 4 days and nights for the chance to buy two tickets to the Postseason in 1986. I played whiffle ball, ate scraps, it rained of course very hard for two days and I used a carbboard box for shelter that became wet and crumbled. I remained shivering until they opened the box office. It never crossed my mind to leave because I  was a fan to the core, I made my bedroom a shrine to The Boston Red Sox. I had Red Sox logos on my socks and box shorts. I think I've covered this subject in an 800 page novel. Alas, there's an old Poker saying, "You remember your bad beats much longer than you remember your big wins." and it applies to many aspects of life. The small victories immediately fade but the most minor trespasses are clung to like life preservers in a sea of regret for years...and we manifest our own trappings. I did not obsess about the Red Sox loss in 1986 until much later when I needed a device to dramatize my downfall. The defeats are more deeply felt than the losses.

So, I think I have a case when I say I can jump on and off the bandwagon as I see fit. Consider me a Sports veteran who might not have a gun in the fight, but who knows the score. I've earned my medals and The Sox made it easy for me to cheer for them this year. They earned the championship.

Sunday, October 27, 2013

Free Puppies

I spent all night looking for one puppy who had been taken by a red tail hawk.
I go to feed them after watching the Red Sox have Game 3 stolen from them by criminally negligent ump Jim Joyce and only count 8 puppies. I recount. 1.2.3.4.5.6.7.8...... where's #9? There are always 9. They never leave one behind. but only 8 puppies are biting my arthritic toes through my worn slippers. Furthermore; they have moved under a big container. So A hawk or coyote had come during the evening and scooped one up and the others had hid where the hawk could not get them and Oggy is out with a flashlight hunting the snake habitat for puppy bones. but #9 appeared later.
 Please someone take these dogs somewhere safe.

I have a contest to figure out what breeds these dogs are. I think Beagle and Harrier and Siberian Husky and Shepherd are all in the mix.

Also note that a little research tells me I was wrong to feed that dog a plate of cow milk. they drink it but it isn't good for them.

Saturday, October 26, 2013

Exponential Problems: Life and Death

ONE LITTER CAN'T HURT ANYTHING, RIGHT?

1+1=420,000
One female cat and her offspring can produce
420,000 cats in seven years.
 
This one wasn't thriving so I brought him inside for milk. But cow milk isn't good for dogs and cats.
1+1=67,000
One female dog and her offspring can produce
67,000 dogs in six years.

- The Humane Society of the United States Pet Overpopulation Facts (1999)
San Antonio euthanasizes between 80 and 120 animals A DAY

These puppies are ready to find a home. One creative way of giving away puppies is to have the person give you a receipt for a pre-paid neuter or spay operation. At least they paid for the operation and if they elect to be irresponsible then some one else will get a free operation. I don't know what I'm going to do. We're in Texas so I suppose I'll ask for their word that they will take these dogs in to fix them later in life.
Mama is totally done with her puppies. As am I.
He begs for food and then gives it to the mother.
Some town in Mexico bulldozes the dog carcasses to a power plant that converts the methane their rotting bodies produce to energy. I don't think that's a tenable or acceptable solution. It was already too late when this mother showed up but I swear this is her last litter. Although these puppies are good looking and one has his father's Siberian Husky white eye they are not special enough to breed.



I love this abandoned sign for some reason. There is no pizza store but I like to think it was good pizza.

No more chasing Roadrunners for this Wily Coyote
Please God let these puppies have a full life without the insanity of more puppies. 120 euthanized dogs a day? That's 44,000 a year. No more. They are running wild on me like Kindergarteners.

Friday, October 25, 2013

Don't Be Ashamed Of Your Age



This is all I wanted from my computer software and it is still not reliable or even making sense to me. What the hell is an audio interface? Bob Wills never had this to deal with.*


Call Me Baptist

I walked into a little Mexican market where I buy my brisket with pickle taco and the place has been renovated in light of the economic boom. Gone are the candles of La Virgen De Guadalupe replaced by grotesque Bud Light models with fake tits.
The woman behind the counter said, "I thought I recognized you..."
I figured she was going to say I looked like Val Kilmer or Cris Angel.
"You play piano at the old age home."
"Yes, ma'am."
"My aunt loves that song you play..."
"Cuatro Milpas...?"
"No...."
"Alla en el Rancho Grande?"
No....It's 'Oh, Suzanna'. She always claps."
'Oh Suzanna' repeats endlessly and monotonously but I play it pretty good with full chordal harmonization of the chorus like I'm Liberace or something. They are a forgiving audience at the rest home.
"Right. From my cowboy songbook. Ma'am, I have a question."
"Si?"
"What is it with this new case of glass bongs."
"New owners."
She nods toward a man I hadn't seen before, stocking cigarette lighters. I shrug at him and for some reason have already lost my temper because in Texas ordinarily one must always say, "Sir..." when engaging a man in conversation. But I had always liked walking into this building with fire code violations, signs in Spanish, no pornography, broken glass in the parking lot, beer on ice, an old woman who spoke Spanish no matter what you looked like. She charged too much for tacos but they were good and hand made so no one said anything. Now there is some kind of Generic Fried Chicken being built in a corner. The step that would almost break your neck has been fixed. I don't like it...but I really hate and am offended by an entire closed case full of glass pipes and bongs...like we live in Seattle. I repeat: I'm annoyed and offended by the whole new management and this "new owner" is not Mexican. He looks like a guy who would never eat the fried chicken being served at his new store.

Thursday, October 24, 2013

Really? This Is What It Means to Record Music?

"MultiMedia Extensions (MME / Win) use non-highend sample rate conversion in order to sync the different audio signals from applications to the sample rates used on the external soundcard. And sometimes there's not even a way to control the rate to be the prefered one. (E.g. 48kHz instead of 44.1kHz.)
Using ASIO it's possible to do direct "one to one" hardware connections and even use higher bitrates (e.g. 20bit or 24bit) if supported by the device.
But of course, you need an ASIO compatible application like Audition, Cubase, Wavelab, Logic Audio, Reason, Live, Studio One, Digital Performer, Sonar, BPM Studio, etc. If the app supports ASIO2 you'll be able to benefit from more features."

Really confused and frustrated by technology. The work I'm doing in the 21st century to compile a Western Swing fakebook would make Spade Cooley shit his pants. He'd say, "Son, maybe you want to spend a little more time on the guitar than looking at that light screen and tapping a weird piano that has no notes? Yah say yer makin' music but I ain't heard you play a damn note in a week. Just callin' tech support in Canada every two days. Are yah feelin' alright?"

I watched the World Series tonight and the advertisements were not how human beings live...they are how commercial entities live as directed by marketing strategies concocted by digital focus groups and humanistic modeling.   

What I don't understand is why I need to buy an audio interface when I'm not recording with instruments but merely inputing midi data with a midi controller? Can't I simply download the drivers for an audio interface and that will provide me with an ASIO driver?

Monday, October 21, 2013

Alcan


This entertaining movie is more for men who have sweated and wept for gaskets and washers misplaced and bearings that fail. There is a training school for mechanics but most mechanics don't go there. We learn the hard way and then put ourselves in positions where the precarious balance of safety and goals becomes blurred. There is a process to rebuilding something but it's rare to get it perfect...and in Hess's case I'd say it's not even realistic because he chose the worst vehicle in the most remote location to bring back to life. Plans like this usually fail not because of the determination but because the money becomes staggering. And if you have the money to throw away on some crazy plan then you wouldn't have the crazy plan to begin with.

One need not remind me that Hess has some qualities that Oggy might display from time to time. But the real similarities are sort of in the experience. I asked a filmmaker in San Francisco to follow me to Ellesmere Island and this documentary is sort of what he would've ended up with...had we survived. I have mixed feelings that no one was interested in filming the Arctic Wolf Quest of 2009-2011. I think I would've found a way to keep going North from Happy Valley and that's when it would've been in a dangerous realm. You can't show up in Nain without an escape plan. Lacking any kind of team mentality I couldn't look at those thousands of kilometers of north arctic coastline and open water to Baffin Island and then the unlikely scenario of a research vessel or crab boat would take me further...and proceed with plaid bell bottom pants and a few Canadian dollars and a story about being sent back from the future. But with a camera man filming I would've kept going, abandoned my van, set out on foot, something ludicrous and probably fatal. So, I'm alive today but I wonder if the trip to Ellesmere Island would've been heroic or another gimmick in the failed environmental movement. It would've been interesting as it would've required a long boat journey and probably a longer ride in a medical evacuation helicopter...maybe international news: "Homeless Man Rescued Off Coast of Ellesmere Island. Tells Tales of Time Travel, Wolves, Starvation, Apocalypse."

The movie also brings back memories of the Alcan Highway...remote wilderness, weeks of driving or hitchhiking, desperation, feeling close to death. I had separated both shoulders somewhere in Montana and kept going, walking like a double amputee. In The Yukon Territory I could no longer walk without a crutch and when I sneezed I fell down from double groin tears. The trip had broken me but there was no turning back...no cars on the highway in either direction...6 days waiting for a ride with $3 in my wallet. Resigned to death.

End of Privacy

It seems America has taken a page from every Fascist dictatorship in history with the argument that it's permissible to spy on and invade whomever we choose because of national security. I'm puzzled that so much interception of data was ongoing but no one seemed to know that Iraq had no weapons of mass destruction. What's their excuse for that fuck up? You can't pretend every effort wasn't made to know when Hussein was taking a shit...so how did you not know there was no arsenal of weapons in Iraq? Either you suck as a spy or you knew there was nothing there but the Bush agenda demanded you say nothing. Well, I recall Powell lying with a straight face that he recommended an invasion. When you have drug addicted voters and secretive government and lying presidents then you don't have a democracy. You can argue that fascism is safer than democracy and therefore preferable, but you can't argue that democracy includes widespread deceit by the elected. Someone on my banned news site said it best, "We shouldn't be worried that Snowden released information, we should be worried that he's the only one who thought the NSA's conduct was wrong."

In other news: Facebook is allowing videos showing people being decapitated to be posted and shared on its site once again. What more could I expect from an autistic CEO?*

The experiment continues into how fucked up we can make our children...as though we haven't reached rock bottom.

Really, how could you trust an adult if you were 12 years old and knew that older people really didn't care what you smoked, ate, watched, or learned? We are teaching kids to disrespect us because we have no limits or restraint. A kid can not be spanked because it's child abuse...but he can watch a woman beheaded on Facebook and buy smakable special K scooby snacks and watch Hannah Montana gang raped on MTV. <irony>Ok, that's not a contradiction.</irony> Kids are the best at spotting contradictions but when they get so industrialized and routine the kids stop pointing them out. Why bother? They try to fit in to a social structure that is a total disaster...and then wonder why India is taking all our jobs. A 12 year old American will be very lucky to get a job scrubbing clothes in 20 years. They sense it so they are behaving like I would, fuck it all, do what I want, let the blood flow. Chief Seattle, where are you to guide us? Dead. Murdered to make way for Six Flags cotton candy stands. Awful.

*I'm all for freedom of speech, which in this case means the freedom for criminals to create their own internet network from scratch, launch satellites, manufacture digital cameras and go ahead and post their beheading videos. Go for it. I won't stand in your way. But when AT&T , Google and Facebook snuggle up in bed with Mexican mafia home movie network THAT ISN'T FREE SPEECH. It's Aiding and Abetting The Murderers, which isn't in our constitution.....yet.

Saturday, October 19, 2013

Oggy & Los Conquistadores


My vintage 1951 Lefty Frizzell songbook has some pictures that are making me think crazy thoughts. Why did he get to have all the fun? I want to tour with a band in a ridiculous station wagon and tear drop trailer with my name painted on the side.

How about decorating the exterior of the van as though I were a lost in time Western Swing musician on a Mexican performing tour?

I want the art to say "Oggy & Los Conquistadores - Western Swinger Tour - 1969" Or maybe the "If Not Now, Then When?" Tour. Like in a nostalgic font with a cowboy hat and dancers in dance hall bop dress. I might have to enlist an artist for this. Any volunteers? We could make fliers and post them to telephone poles, wall art, business cards, the concert tour T-shirts would be hilarious with a list of ridiculous concert locations on the back..."Battle Harbour, Labrador Sept 9; Soddy Daisy, Tenn Oct 20; La Paz, Mexico June 4. Now I'll have to make that t-shirt for myself.

I think it's a great performance art project although it could lead to a "Music Man" kind of climax.

The van needs a paint job and this would make it less creepy. People would introduce themselves instead of calling the police. A traveling musician gets a little more credit than a gypsy.

Of course, there are no Los Conquistadores to act as my band but maybe they would materialize. This act would really help explain my suede pants, cowboy hat and spurs.

Lefty & The Tune Toppers


Any 1950 car fans know what kind of vehicle this is?

Here's my attempt at designing a T-shirt. These cost $40 each. If anyone wants one I'll order them after I get enough requests.
Front

Back

Friday, October 18, 2013

Oggy's Disposable Theory Of The Day

Ignore me at your own peril but my latest theory is that the Steve Jobs...Henry Fords...of the world were not endowed with something special...but actually were deficient in a particular human trait that allowed them to pursue their goals under a delusional belief they were benefiting everyone when actually they were merely materializing their own selfish utopia. But they aren't all to blame because it takes the Messianic lap dog attitude of numb consumers to follow and worship these inventors although it complicates their life and brings to fruition technology for the sake of technology with a gigantic propaganda campaign designed to obscure the actual ramifications. I think everyone has flashes of inspiration about some invention or process and then their conscience kicks in and they think, "Oh, wait, that would fuck everything up for Mr. X living in Y country. I'd better not." Well, Steve Jobs wasn't afflicted by that voice of caution. He seemed to think people in China were simply waiting around to spend 14 hours a day snapping together iphone cases.

Of course, I sound like the Unabomber now so can be dismissed easily but I have been percolating all the trends of modern life and this is my latest conclusion: we are allowing ourselves to be led by autistic people. I'm no expert on autism so I use that word to describe someone who has a critical imbalance in social and philosophical and mechanical computations. That imbalance can lead to an abundance of sympathy like in the case of Temple Grandin or a deficiency like in Steve Jobs. Was Steve Jobs autistic? I think he was because he lacked a quality that makes someone consider the consequences of his actions. Modern technology development is irresponsibly destructive and criminally imbalanced toward developed nations. All the waste, impact, slavery, ecological damage is suffered by those who can not afford a publicity campaign on their behalf. They can't defend themselves. All the benefit is enjoyed by those too selfish to care, those who repeatedly bash the skulls in of the poor but believe ignorance is denial and denial is bliss. If you don't know the consequences of high tech devices then consider yourself one of the content billions of manipulated consumers who fell victim to Apple's brilliant propaganda campaign. The autistic people I've been around have a similar quality...they can not feel or express sympathy, let alone empathy. This is not to disparage autistic people. Temple Grandin's autism seems to filter out the ridiculous human/animal misconceptions that were traditional before she came along. It's a spectrum disorder with various unpredictable manifestations. Go check out Derek Paravacini for one result. Grandin's not necessarily smarter than other animal scientists but she is not immediately hampered by traditions that don't work...which in itself makes her work original. She's abundantly sympathetic to animals. Her goals cater to the conditions of livestock while humans are here only to bring those goals to life. Jobs saw people as irrelevant instruments slowly evolving into a computer chip. Maybe he's right and I'm a total asshole.

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Fashion Whore



Not an easy ensemble to pull off in Mesquite country.

It only took 4 years to find the striped pants to go with my Ringo Starr Beatle boots...which are actually hardly vintage, being side-zip Laredo cowboy boots you can buy anywhere...

Sunday, October 13, 2013

Operation Puppy


A typhoon (10'' in two hours) rolled through south Texas and Oggy's puppies were ill-prepared. The rain fell and fell and the small island of safety I'd built for the puppies was soon only big enough for one puppy so they all piled on top of him like Yertle the Turtle. Then the rain really started to fall and I had no choice but to act on their behalf, being a cowardly hippie and a hypocrite and a rat, notwithstanding.

The rain soaked through my pitiful surf pants and the wind tore the umbrella out of my hand so I was soon on my knees in the rain trying to unlock a tongue lock on one of the company trailers because there was no where else to put the puppies...I almost put them all in my trailer but there was an electrical fire that has me a little paranoid that the whole thing is going to burn up. So I attached my truck to a trailer and made the rescue. Mama dog was no where to be found. She's got no attachment issues, doing her nursing duties no longer or more often than necessary.
They opened their eyes for the first time and my mug was what they saw. (They are sleeping on my work uniform)
I don't think the video will capture that pathetic condition I found the puppies in, ass deep in water two of them having given up hope.

This reminds me of a few nights I spent in the forest (near guess what city?) wrapped in a mattress cover hiding in the stump of an old Bay Tree, mice eating crumbs off my chest. Everything was fine until a redwood branch crashed through my roof and led to ten-fifteen hours in a condition like the puppies. You either die or soldier through. These puppies are survivors but I'm not trying to make their lives more miserable than they have to be...nor am I trying to give them false hope that all will be ok on a road of steak and bacon. The trailer is empty, they need a place to stay, the solution only required some motivation on my part.

Eventually the mama dog arrived and lay down to nurse the pups while I dried her off with shop rags. Then I ran back to my trailer as smoke began to pour out of the fuse panel...would the fire extinguisher work or not...?

On a side note, the new butyl tape and layer of silicone finally fixed the window leak on my van...but this rain fell so hard that it still soaked the rug through the doors. But it's progress...5 years of war with the flawed windows and I'm victorious. Recently, I've replaced the voltage regulator, the ignition coil, the alternator, the fuel pump, added a voltage gauge, fixed the window, added a screen door to the escape hatch, replaced my sun-baked spare tire, painted a Zia pueblo sun symbol on the spare tire cover, fixed two leaking rear tires. But I bought this van to do the work myself, to know what it is I'm driving...I'm not complaining...merely clarifying that a 44 year old van doesn't roll down the road by accident. Molecular inertia is trying to destroy the van and I'm the only thing that can keep it running.

Saturday, October 12, 2013

Why Not Work For Free?

I was disappointed to learn Texas hasn't offered to reopen national parks like Guadalupe or Big Bend. These remote locations basically weed out any casual visitors so that only a responsible person would bother driving 4-10 hours across the desert to walk around in mesquite brush. The Texan approach is usually intentionally independent. The Alamo, for example, is open because it's staffed mostly by volunteer "Daughters of The Republic of Texas". It's not a National Park and it would be hard to close something down that is in the middle of San Antonio. Speaking of character, the women who welcome you to the Alamo would laugh in the face of a national park ranger if he said it was closed due to a government food fight. They are already working for free so it doesn't concern them.

This fiscal crisis finally shines the light on those who act and the pundits. I feel that the national parks are too important to close...and if I ever fulfill my dream of being an interpretive park ranger it's not going to be on the condition I get paid for my time. The reason I could work through a government shut down is because of the other days when they paid me. This is that rainy day your mom warned you about. If I had to clean the toilets and empty trash bags you think I'm not going to do that because I won't get paid for my work? If it means keeping the parks open then I see it as a responsibility, like teachers who pay out of pocket for school supplies for their students. If you want easy days of long lunches then go work for Monsanto who never take a day off from getting paid. Otherwise, you take the job that you would do for free. Too much top down management in this pseudo democracy.

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Unreleated Quotes Prior To The Collapse of America

"American adults scored below the international average on a global test in math, reading and problem-solving using technology — all skills considered critical for global competitiveness and economic strength."


"Does raising the debt ceiling increase the federal debt?
No. Lifting the borrowing limit simply allows the government to pay its existing bills. That debt exists whether or not Congress authorizes additional borrowing, and to avoid default it must be paid."


This is coming straight from the top. Borrowing more money to pay existing bills doesn't mean that we increase our debt.

Headshot suicide


Lord, there are so many problems with this statement it makes me want to go back to 3rd grade in Somerville, Mass and pay closer attention to arithmetic instead of sorting baseball cards in search of George Brett's rookie card. What did I miss?

Oggy's 1st Law of Economics:

If you can't pay bills with your savings then
A) You default
or
B) You borrow more money to pay your bills....which leads to....

MORE FUCKING DEBT.*

There is no way to flim flam around this fact but we've got everyone from CBS to Obama saying it's no problem. This is a watershed moment because either I've gone crazy or the rats are running the ship...but no one knows what to do. I feel moments like this have come along in every civilization and the ones that survive are the ones that face the facts and the ones that fail are the ones that swallow every lie in the hopes that the big con won't affect them.

Monday, October 7, 2013

Madcap Washington

"At issue is how to reach an agreement to fund the government in the newly started fiscal year and raise the $16.7 trillion debt limit."

In a hundred years I couldn't create a performance art piece that is as insane as what I'm reading right now about the amount of debt the government is in. You say I'm crazy for trying to drive to Ellesmere Island to raise awareness about the arctic wolf?
Well, what does that mean about someone who thinks a $16,700,000,000,000 debt ISN'T ENOUGH???

THEY WANT TO MAKE IT AN EVEN $20 Trillion???

This isn't Monopoly money, it my fucking taxes getting flushed down the toilet for bombers that sit in mothballs and battleships that are sunk to create artificial reefs off islands that will soon be underwater in an ocean that will soon be dead.

I'm a guy who buys the cheap cereal because it costs 40 cents less. Jesus, historians are going to have a field day with the mass trance that everyone is under to allow this. It's the opposite of hysteria, it's pure stagnation...like we're watching a movie that involves a country called America and we're all waiting for the credits to roll and we can go home to fuck Judy Jetson. The only reason the National Guard would follow orders is BECAUSE THEIR HOUSES WERE BOUGHT WITH THAT DEBT. It's amazing what kind of loyalty to oppress taxpayers can be bought with taxpayer's money. What irony to polish the same boot that crushes your neck. I'd kiss your boot but my lips are under your heel.

These fuckwads puff up their gullets and say with pompous confidence, "Government debt isn't the same as personal debt because we're borrowing from ourselves and there is tax revenue etc..."

You hear that, Kenya? All you have to do is borrow a few trillion against yourselves and that's OK. Look how good we're living. No need to struggle in poverty. Borrow what you want and put an IOU in the constitution with a note: "do not pay until all other countries are broke"

THEY SOUND LIKE USED CAR SALESMEN TRYING TO MOVE LEMONS OFF THE LOT.

Like my bald headed grandfather would say, "If it looks like shit, and smells like shit, then don't call it ice cream."
Or like the convict in the aluminum factory told me, "You only have to look with your eyes."
I don't know what people are looking with but it ain't their eyes.

Sunday, October 6, 2013

Sunday Memories

Jose and Juanita

Voltmeter Upgrade

First tolerable daytime temperature since April. I slept like 33 hours this weekend. I'm sure I have Leukemia.

(add your own snide comment)

Saturday, October 5, 2013

Lefty and Some Random Thoughts About Music





I can't get enough of Lefty Frizzell. He even wears the string tie. Elvis and Johnny Cash and Buddy Holly sort of dominated the 1958 era but Lefty generated more music than all of them. His songs didn't break any rules or set the standard but if you gave me a choice I would have to take Lefty's songs. That's more a testament to my honky-tonk heart than to quality of music because Buddy Holly was a brilliant pioneer and Elvis was the all time live entertainer (Michael Jackson is #2 only because Elvis made it OK to grab your crotch and Elvis did it when it was almost a criminal offense) and Johnny Cash wrote a lot of his own music and promoted himself better. Lefty is the performer Hank Williams Sr. would have been if he'd lived longer. Hank Sr. died before any of the proto-rock music arrived. Lefty never made the jump to rock and didn't want to, he never grabbed his crotch or shook his hips and apparently never played an electric guitar. He was pure Honky-Tonk with no ambition to bust genres. When you listen to a Lefty song you'll either get a slow blues or a slower blues...no big surprises on the jukebox in 1954 in Nashville. I love how the pianist is using a folding metal chair as a bench. It's like this performance is in a High School gymnasium. I met a guy in Oklahoma who had a voice like this...pure as a flowing river. Notice how he sings "I got those drinking cigarettes and smoking coffee blues..." at the end.

Friday, October 4, 2013

Piano POV

This digital direction isn't my bliss but I don't have a good alternative. I thought I had the equipment to make this work but my laptop computer with 32 bit and 4 gigs of ram is the basement of audio synthesizers...so this m-audio MIDI controller has pushed the limits of my computer like Oggy climbing Chocorua mountain with half a vegetarian sandwich in his belly. The latency issue is brutal and I've only begun to dig into the audio card solutions...when the only good solution is to get a better computer with a good audio card.
I don't even want to play silly games like this but I got hooked because I have high ADHD and low self esteem.
I'm brainstorming how I would carry around a stage piano in my van and run it off my power inverter and play on sidewalks in Belize. and also have MIDI capability to create fake books. Acoustic pianos are so much more simple.
For now I have a 49 keystudio midi controller and synthesia piano game. I managed to synch it all up with my notation software which is my only goal. This computer can never act as a synthesizer.

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Images of September

FOX TV At McDonalds. Sign says "DO NOT TURN OFF TV"

What? No number to call?

Donations for shots are welcome

Watching over Oggy

New Butyl Tape on window might fix the leak that has rusted the stove

Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Please Lay Off Congress

I want the government to shut down long enough for people to ask why we even keep it open...which is to basically cut our own hamstrings with rusty knives and then pay informants to spy on us. It's a Good Cop/Bad Cop flim flam...a huge con game to demonstrate what They Give Us. Like we're all poor peasants in straw huts waiting for the Lord of the Land to hand out Christmas geese for dinner once a year. Total bullshit. No chance capitalism would've lasted this long without The Goon Squad Law to enforce it. It's a complete failure except at building a mechanized nation of elite botox addicts. If you really want a free market then the government or law enforcement can not interfere with any realm of free trade, namely breaking strikes, enforcing employee benefits, raising minimum wage...etc. If state or federal employees fuck with anything in that realm then you no longer have free trade or capitalism...it's tyranny one way or another...either the poor are hiring the national guard to protect them...or the industrialist is hiring the national guard to keep wages low. Either way, it's a farce. Pledge allegiance to a complete fraud.
It really irks me that the National Parks are closed. If I was not gainfully employed (fucking off for a few bucks a day) I would definitely find a way inside Yosemite...totally empty of tourists. How is it that the places deemed naturally special have become dependent on a web of corrupt politicians to stay open? You're telling me these places are being guarded against unauthorized entry? The wildlife must be overjoyed our government is such fuck ups. That makes me sick to my stomach that Congress would draw the line in the sand at unrestrained/unmonitored hiking or fishing in National Parks because they object to mandatory health insurance, but they completely sat on their asses while two consecutive countries were invaded under false pretenses after a total failure to account for monumental lies sold like sawdust filled tires to mouth breathing jelly donut addicts. Total flim flam. How is it possible Lincoln could buy the needed votes for the 13th amendment but Obama can't hand out postmaster jobs or land in California in order to get this affordable care act to pass?

"Busloads of World War II veterans, many in wheelchairs, broke past a barricade Tuesday to cross into the World War II Memorial, as onlookers applauded and a man playing the bagpipes led the way.
Moments earlier, Republican members of Congress had removed a section of the black gates that surrounded the site, allowing a line of veterans to roll past security officers, who willingly stood aside."

It's really gross that the bravest people in America are still the bravest people in America 70 years later. They are crippled and still have more balls than a 20 year old skinny jean hipster begging for a buck raise at Walgreens.

Monday, September 30, 2013

Art Car


 I'll give 5 Oggy Bucks to anyone who can identify the significance behind this symbol.

Not as easy as it looks

A Frisbee came in handy for the circle


Sunday, September 29, 2013

Soggy Reminders

Oggy and Bella hunted through the indifferent night for a salvageable wooden spool at the train tracks where fags flipped tricks for cornrow heretics and the mice lived in rancid holes. The spool, originally for fiber optic wire to broadcast the suffocating paradigm to mouth breathing masses, would become the Dog Hotel, the maternity ward of wayward mutts, the last location of security for the squirming puppies now drowning in mud and refuse discarded by the careless human outcasts of the River Street Shelter.
Oggy insisted on removing all trace they had walked near the mouse habitat by dragging a broom behind his footsteps, a request Bella ignored implicitly, and eventually they stumbled on a spool that could be rolled down the middle of the flooded boulevard, police writing them several tickets, Bella's mother stumbling by in a feverish search for her own methamphetafuckmeup.
"You kids have fun," said Bella's mom as her pants fell down her skeletal frame and she disappeared down a rocky embankment, ever scratching the psoriasis on her forearm, her hair lay like seaweed on a shipwreck.

Friday, September 27, 2013

Broken Arms and Worn Armatures

Oggy back on his back

I guess this is technically a commutator...it's all supposed to be copper

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Disney Tramp Celebration

I keep watching not because it's interesting it's because I can't believe that's all it takes to get 7 million views a day. This is so boring and monotonous. I don't want to pretend Madonna and Cyndi Lauper didn't push the sex card when I was 17 years old, but am I being an old man by claiming they had talent? Run DMC were talented. If DMC and Madonna had made a video in the segregated 1980s it would've been awesome. But Miley Cyrus is actually banking on her manufactured Disney innocence. It's incredible that no one heeded my warning 4 years ago that she was going to turn all your daughters into whores...but I'm an asshole. Now we have a talentless pseudo-ho with fake tattoos, smoking in a kind of parody of tramp celebration.
But the worst I can say about this is that it's not raunchy enough, not interesting, not titillating, not sexy, not good. It's not even original with cliche cheerleaders and smoking in the girl's room and lipstick close ups...those images have all been beaten to death by every hack director in history. It's not a parody but the images are on the edge of redundant and satirical...but they are serious...like they are going to reintroduce base soft core porn to all the 17 year old girls cutting themselves in their middle class bedrooms. So terribly predictable. It's dull...but the production value is high. It's actually grotesque for many reasons I don't want to go into. Call me a prude but Debbie Reynolds never went through a "anti-establishment" phase. That role is pure marketing..corporate suits manipulate Miley so she can manipulate girls everywhere...and we'll use dope smoking rappers as our fall guy, like Miley is being debased by a gang of black thugs...ahahaha...and she'll be rescued by Hostess Twinkies!
  On the other hand, this Trae Tha Truth is fucking hilarious.

No Room To Spare

This is what my dash cam would look like.

This highway is about as wide as the road I would walk to high school on. That speed limit was 25. 65 is treated as the minimum here. Health Officials ordered everyone to boil their water due to contamination. But when you boil it the crude oil from Colorado spills ignites.

More Mouths To Feed

9 = Oggy's Lucky Number
Does anyone know how to care for 7 8 9 new born puppies living under a metal storage shed? This seems to be my fate in life to encounter as many wayward dogs in dangerous predicaments. I absolutely don't want dogs but if I take the male dog to have his nuts chopped off I'll have to go through a bunch of shit only to let it loose again. The others men ask me, "Aren't you happy? You get to have a puppy." and my face drops as all recognition of the present moment is eclipsed by memories of certain puppies in Santa Cruz who met the worst deaths possible one by one as Oggy was hobbled by idealistic rumors and helplessly watched the world devour their innocence. Maybe this time will be different...and maybe all the homeless people will unite and sing Christmas carols for charity.

Humble Beginnings

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Voltage Drop

As always happens when I make some kind of improvement to the van there will be fallout. In this case the simple renewal of an ignition coil and a voltage regulator has led to a discovery of a problem with the charging. I think I've figured out the issue but the reason it hasn't come to my attention until now is another story. I don't drive at night because of repeated problems I had to deal with keeping the van running early on. I decided that I would drive during the day so I could safely find a place to work on the van when problems came up. If the problem came at night then I would already be in trouble. Also, cows and boars roam the roads at night.

But recently I was up until 2am at a corn barbeque and on the way back noticed the headlights flickering and then almost dying at high speeds. Initially, I blamed the new fangled voltage regulator and inspected all the wiring with no success. But the alternator was also a suspect and although it charged at low rpm and even high rpm in low gear (proving once again that testing a problem while parked is no good), when I reached 3rd gear and still accelerated there was a dimming of headlights. So I lashed the volt meter to the windshield wiper and took to the road in an experiment. And this is the video of that event. There was a mishap that forced me to edit it but no cops pulled me over.

 I may try to put new brushes in the alternator since I haven't done that before. But it's likely nothing will change and the alternator has other problems with it. The belt doesn't slip and you can tell how predictable the voltage drop is when I lift my foot off. It goes to 14.04vDC and when I step on it the voltage drops to 12.36vDC...which is still charging but unless someone has some advice I have to fix the alternator that I bought the winter before I went to Labrador for some ridiculous low price. That was the fall of 2010. It has some hard miles on it but I thought I'd get more than 3 years out of it. Of course I bought it at Advanced Auto in New England so there's no returning it.

thanks to all who provided advice and support.

Oggy's Top 10 Comebacks to Law Enforcement

1) Law: Is this your vehicle?
Oggy: A couple more payments and she's all mine.

2) Law: Do you know how fast you were going?
Oggy: If I had a nickle for every time I heard that....

3) Law: Are you an American Citizen?
Oggy: Is this a multiple choice question? 'D'! It's always 'D'

4) Law: So, what are you doing out here in a parking lot at midnight?
Oggy: Is it midnight already? Fuck! Time flies when you're weighing cocaine.

5) Law: Do you have any drugs on you?
Oggy: (whispering) Dude, keep your voice down, there's a cop right over there.

6) Law: Do you have any guns, knives or other weapons on you?
Oggy: (worried) Will I need them in Labrador? I can go back and get some.

7) Law: Step out of your vehicle.
Oggy: Is it too late to compliment your eyes?

8) Law: How long were you in Mexico?
Oggy: Long enough to have my heart turned into bloody red salsa and served on a tostada!

9) Law: Do you own this moped?
Oggy: Not if it's going to get me into trouble.

10) Law: (Gun Drawn) What are you doing out here?
Oggy: I built a hut from sticks and trash so I could keep the rain off me when I sleep. What's your excuse?

11) Law: Why were you driving so fast?
Oggy: Because you were tailgating me with those damn blue strobe lights on and I thought to myself, "I have to get away from this lunatic."

1) Utah 2009
2) California 1996
3) Texas 2013
4)New Hampshire 2010
5)Texas 2012
6)Quebec 2009
7) New Hampshire 2009
8) California 2009
9) Texas 2012
10) Santa Cruz 1993
11) I made this one up.

Bonus: At a Maine/New Brunswick border crossing in early December I was making my second attempt to drive to Labrador. It was freezing but I had a wood stove burning dry birch to keep me warm. Cortez had his obstacles to face and so did Oggy. So I drove hour after hour at about 35 mph over roads blackened by ice so that sometimes I wasn't rolling but sliding toward my destination. The Canadian border official asked, "How long do you intend to stay in Labrador?"
My comeback was, "Actually, I'm going to Ellesmere Island, home of the Arctic Wolf as it's an animal species driven to extinction in 50 years, so I was sent back in time to raise awareness and alter history."
Creative Commons License
Man in the Van by Oggy Bleacher is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 3.0 Unported License.