Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Comic Relief

The Firebird was up on a lift when a man came into the garage speaking Spanish.
J.R. jumped in to translate since he is bilingual. The guy evidently wanted to buy salvage cars and ship them to Mexico where they are chopped and tagged. After he left J.R. said that if he comes back then I should treat him right because he knew how to make a buck.
I was in the middle of reattaching a ground wire to the engine block with my hand way up behind the head and said dead-pan, "My Spanish book doesn't cover illegal exports to Mexico until Chapter Two."
Steve laughed as he welded a shoddy catalytic converter joint and asked what Chapter Three was.*
"Crystal meth manufacturing."
"And people wonder why Arizona is against multi-cultural education," mumbled Steve through a shower of sparks and cigarette smoke.
J.R. lit up a cigarette and ignored us. His eyes were filling with dollar signs. I dropped the bolt and swore.

* Chapter One is Pablo Neruda

6 More Cylinders to Feed

I feel a small sense of accomplishment at the successful removal and overhaul and installation of this Firebird motor but the end result is another 6 cylinders the dead lizards of the Pleistocene Period must feed with their compressed bones and habitat. I'm not proud of that because if melting ice caps and vanishing wheat belts are not important then we can safely say nothing is important. And Fox new is very intent with their diabolical propaganda to lull fresh faced ass fuckers into thinking cellulite and new cell phone gadgets and stock prices (ungodly cross marketing and propaganda in the ugly style of newsertainment and junk journalism masquerading as underwear ads and cosmetic surgery to remove laugh lines from your ass face) but keep watching that junk food for the withered brain and blighted worldview. No, let's put more cars running along in futile disregard of safety and sophistication. I test drove the Firebird up the road and would not trade my moped's broken headlight for it.
Creative Commons License
Man in the Van by Oggy Bleacher is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 3.0 Unported License.