Tuesday, September 25, 2012

6 More Cylinders to Feed

I feel a small sense of accomplishment at the successful removal and overhaul and installation of this Firebird motor but the end result is another 6 cylinders the dead lizards of the Pleistocene Period must feed with their compressed bones and habitat. I'm not proud of that because if melting ice caps and vanishing wheat belts are not important then we can safely say nothing is important. And Fox new is very intent with their diabolical propaganda to lull fresh faced ass fuckers into thinking cellulite and new cell phone gadgets and stock prices (ungodly cross marketing and propaganda in the ugly style of newsertainment and junk journalism masquerading as underwear ads and cosmetic surgery to remove laugh lines from your ass face) but keep watching that junk food for the withered brain and blighted worldview. No, let's put more cars running along in futile disregard of safety and sophistication. I test drove the Firebird up the road and would not trade my moped's broken headlight for it.

Actually, the Firebird isn't running right because although we basically installed it correctly, a diagnostic code of random misfiring in the coil pack is going to keep it parked. was the code there before we got it? Well, one of the cylinders was ruined so it's hard to say.*
Coil packs, for those who care, are what replaced the single coil ignition, which replaced the mechanical breaker and condenser style ignition with single coil of my van. So coils can come in a small variety of sizes and shapes and they all do the same thing which is increase the voltage from the battery/alternator to the spark plug.

regular old coil like on Oggy's van






  • coil pack like the one on the 1999 Firebird. IT's really three sets of two dual coils.








  • Individual coil like on the grand marquis




  • I know this is totally engrossing so I'll stop now.


    * I was testing the coil plugs when the radiator hose exploded off the radiator. It was like a scene from King of The Hill because 5 Texans were standing around watching and three of them were Commercial Truck Drivers, one was a mechanic and another was a pipefitter with a welding rig on his truck and none of them blinked when the hose exploded. The only reaction to my being showered with 250 degree water was, "Must be a loose hose or it's overheating."

    Meanwhile, I screamed like a little girl who had lost a tooth.
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    Man in the Van by Oggy Bleacher is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 3.0 Unported License.