Friday, January 2, 2015

Britney Spears As Seen Through The Oggy Light

My brother has asked me to write 3000 words about Britney Spears circa 1999. He must be smoking crack because there's no other explanation. Oh, wait, I get it. I can type fast and throw some fancy words around and spin some bullshit people are amused by so he thinks I'll be able to work my magic with America's Own Mouseke-Whore, make people see her in a different light, and he's right, but the problem is that the world isn't ready for what I have to say about Britney Spears. It's too soon and since I'm not Ludwig Van Beethoven, I don't like writing for the future. She's still alive, breeding more hillbillies, maybe recording some trashy song written by a bearded suicidal gay guy about some boy crush he had in 1992, and farts some repetitive Katy Perry melody onto the lyrics about "boys and hit me in my love button" kind of bullshit. Add some techno beats and he is able to pay his rent for another self-loathing month. But what the hell, Ok. Let's have some fun. Let's see what happens. I got nothing to lose.

Hit Me Baby One More Time.

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Man in the Van by Oggy Bleacher is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 3.0 Unported License.