St. Patricks Day Called and it wants its vodka back

The goal was to get kicked out of the Press Room but they did me one better by barring me from entering at all...so I read my poem in the street until the police came.
Then I got boomed out of Booma Post.
And in a dirt bag bar like the Daniel Street Tavern I somehow made enemies...like I'm the asshole all of a sudden.
"That's it. You need to go." Said the bartender as I reached for the zippers on her tartan skirt.
"You so want to kiss me right now, don't you," were my last words in that establishment.
This lass was not flirting in any way, shape or form. This was a picture I took as I was dragged away.
Note:
The best back up plan I've ever heard for a man shot down is, "I thought I saw a green light." Saying that on St. Patrick's day is even more clever. The woman will think you were either too dumb to see she loathed you from the start (which is flattering to her) or she will be flattered that you saw the green light she allowed for an instant but your methods were clumsy and not worthy of her. There are one liners for offense and defense. The modern man should be familiar with both. All bets are off if you've had too much to drink.