Jack in The Box Crew Totally Makes Fun of You

Sources confirmed today that the night crew of the local Jack in The Box that you go to "totally talk shit about you" once you drive away.

An employee who agreed to speak on the condition of anonymity said, "Of course we make fun of you when you drive away. Who wouldn't?"

The employee said that nothing was off limits once you were out of hearing range and listed the topics of unbridled mockery as, "Music, voice tone, speech patterns, clothes, menu selections, vehicle type, family, weight, skin color, everything."

Reality

I've been writing a song about Harry Connick Jr. for almost a year. That's longer than it took Bruce Springsteen to write and record the entire "Born To Run" album. It's a simple song that states my wish to be like Harry Connick Jr., or more accurately, to actually be Harry Connick Jr.

Trivia

My birthday was once New Year's Day, but Julius Caesar changed it when he added a couple weeks to the calendar. Don't ask me why.

Conflicted

A day after I wrote about the evils of private property and the manifest masquerade of police enforcement of the law of sovereignty that Americans blatantly ignored when it worked in the favor of the Kickapoo or the Karankawan tribes...a constable in College Station, Texas served an eviction notice on a dude who might have felt the same way as I do, but this guy shot the constable dead and another civilian was killed and then the guy himself was shot dead. So I redacted those posts about private property because I am conflicted about their effect. What I really want is the constables to stop serving eviction notices. That would be a good sign. But when renters who get served eviction notices start shooting then really nothing is accomplished.

Otis Blows Soul Blues

I live in the dark most of the evening so you might as well hear me in my element. I'm shirtless and eating a makeshift mechanically separated turkey sandwich with avocado that I squeeze onto the bread with my fingers and the food is falling on my bare chest. I talk while chewing and gesture wildly with my hands and then slump forward in defeat and then regain my composure and shake my fist at the sky. It really was a great performance but I forgot to turn the overhead light on so you'll never see it.