Disney Tramp Celebration

I keep watching not because it's interesting it's because I can't believe that's all it takes to get 7 million views a day. This is so boring and monotonous. I don't want to pretend Madonna and Cyndi Lauper didn't push the sex card when I was 17 years old, but am I being an old man by claiming they had talent? Run DMC were talented. If DMC and Madonna had made a video in the segregated 1980s it would've been awesome. But Miley Cyrus is actually banking on her manufactured Disney innocence. It's incredible that no one heeded my warning 4 years ago that she was going to turn all your daughters into whores...but I'm an asshole. Now we have a talentless pseudo-ho with fake tattoos, smoking in a kind of parody of tramp celebration.
But the worst I can say about this is that it's not raunchy enough, not interesting, not titillating, not sexy, not good. It's not even original with cliche cheerleaders and smoking in the girl's room and lipstick close ups...those images have all been beaten to death by every hack director in history. It's not a parody but the images are on the edge of redundant and satirical...but they are serious...like they are going to reintroduce base soft core porn to all the 17 year old girls cutting themselves in their middle class bedrooms. So terribly predictable. It's dull...but the production value is high. It's actually grotesque for many reasons I don't want to go into. Call me a prude but Debbie Reynolds never went through a "anti-establishment" phase. That role is pure marketing..corporate suits manipulate Miley so she can manipulate girls everywhere...and we'll use dope smoking rappers as our fall guy, like Miley is being debased by a gang of black thugs...ahahaha...and she'll be rescued by Hostess Twinkies!
  On the other hand, this Trae Tha Truth is fucking hilarious.

No Room To Spare

This is what my dash cam would look like.

This highway is about as wide as the road I would walk to high school on. That speed limit was 25. 65 is treated as the minimum here. Health Officials ordered everyone to boil their water due to contamination. But when you boil it the crude oil from Colorado spills ignites.

More Mouths To Feed

9 = Oggy's Lucky Number

Does anyone know how to care for 7 8 9 new born puppies living under a metal storage shed? This seems to be my fate in life to encounter as many wayward dogs in dangerous predicaments. I absolutely don't want dogs but if I take the male dog to have his nuts chopped off I'll have to go through a bunch of shit only to let it loose again. The others men ask me, "Aren't you happy? You get to have a puppy." and my face drops as all recognition of the present moment is eclipsed by memories of certain puppies in Santa Cruz who met the worst deaths possible one by one as Oggy was hobbled by idealistic rumors and helplessly watched the world devour their innocence. Maybe this time will be different...and maybe all the homeless people will unite and sing Christmas carols for charity.

Humble Beginnings

Voltage Drop

As always happens when I make some kind of improvement to the van there will be fallout. In this case the simple renewal of an ignition coil and a voltage regulator has led to a discovery of a problem with the charging. I think I've figured out the issue but the reason it hasn't come to my attention until now is another story. I don't drive at night because of repeated problems I had to deal with keeping the van running early on. I decided that I would drive during the day so I could safely find a place to work on the van when problems came up. If the problem came at night then I would already be in trouble. Also, cows and boars roam the roads at night.

But recently I was up until 2am at a corn barbeque and on the way back noticed the headlights flickering and then almost dying at high speeds. Initially, I blamed the new fangled voltage regulator and inspected all the wiring with no success. But the alternator was also a suspect and although it charged at low rpm and even high rpm in low gear (proving once again that testing a problem while parked is no good), when I reached 3rd gear and still accelerated there was a dimming of headlights. So I lashed the volt meter to the windshield wiper and took to the road in an experiment. And this is the video of that event. There was a mishap that forced me to edit it but no cops pulled me over.

 I may try to put new brushes in the alternator since I haven't done that before. But it's likely nothing will change and the alternator has other problems with it. The belt doesn't slip and you can tell how predictable the voltage drop is when I lift my foot off. It goes to 14.04vDC and when I step on it the voltage drops to 12.36vDC...which is still charging but unless someone has some advice I have to fix the alternator that I bought the winter before I went to Labrador for some ridiculous low price. That was the fall of 2010. It has some hard miles on it but I thought I'd get more than 3 years out of it. Of course I bought it at Advanced Auto in New England so there's no returning it.

thanks to all who provided advice and support.

Oggy's Top 10 Comebacks to Law Enforcement

1) Law: Is this your vehicle?
Oggy: A couple more payments and she's all mine.

2) Law: Do you know how fast you were going?
Oggy: If I had a nickle for every time I heard that....

3) Law: Are you an American Citizen?
Oggy: Is this a multiple choice question? 'D'! It's always 'D'

4) Law: So, what are you doing out here in a parking lot at midnight?
Oggy: Is it midnight already? Fuck! Time flies when you're weighing cocaine.

5) Law: Do you have any drugs on you?
Oggy: (whispering) Dude, keep your voice down, there's a cop right over there.

6) Law: Do you have any guns, knives or other weapons on you?
Oggy: (worried) Will I need them in Labrador? I can go back and get some.

7) Law: Step out of your vehicle.
Oggy: Is it too late to compliment your eyes?

8) Law: How long were you in Mexico?
Oggy: Long enough to have my heart turned into bloody red salsa and served on a tostada!

9) Law: Do you own this moped?
Oggy: Not if it's going to get me into trouble.

10) Law: (Gun Drawn) What are you doing out here?
Oggy: I built a hut from sticks and trash so I could keep the rain off me when I sleep. What's your excuse?

11) Law: Why were you driving so fast?
Oggy: Because you were tailgating me with those damn blue strobe lights on and I thought to myself, "I have to get away from this lunatic."

1) Utah 2009
2) California 1996
3) Texas 2013
4)New Hampshire 2010
5)Texas 2012
6)Quebec 2009
7) New Hampshire 2009
8) California 2009
9) Texas 2012
10) Santa Cruz 1993
11) I made this one up.

Bonus: At a Maine/New Brunswick border crossing in early December I was making my second attempt to drive to Labrador. It was freezing but I had a wood stove burning dry birch to keep me warm. Cortez had his obstacles to face and so did Oggy. So I drove hour after hour at about 35 mph over roads blackened by ice so that sometimes I wasn't rolling but sliding toward my destination. The Canadian border official asked, "How long do you intend to stay in Labrador?"
My comeback was, "Actually, I'm going to Ellesmere Island, home of the Arctic Wolf as it's an animal species driven to extinction in 50 years, so I was sent back in time to raise awareness and alter history."