Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Axcelis

"Brilliant minds. Bold science. A powerhouse portfolio of tools: ion implantation, rapid thermal processing, curing, cleaning. Axcelis Technologies. We make semiconductor manufacturing more productive every day."

Most of my projects are ordered by Axcelis so one way to look at my job is that I'm manufacturing cutting edge components. The world is powered by semiconductors and that's where these cables are going. Why don't I feel proud? It's because the dirty secret behind this technology is that it's impossible to do cleanly. They're implanting ions! Does that sound safe? Or to put it another way, we're sacrificing today's environment on the premise that one day machines will run so efficiently that people won't do manual labor. What planet are these brilliant minds living on? You think we're gonna lay around like the Jetsons and watch reality tv? No. We'll be the future Pakistani trash pickers who dig through land fills for precious metals we moronically used to power toy Star Trek replica phasers!
Oh, wait, it won't be us. It'll be someone else. So that makes it alright. That's how a brilliant mind works.

Do questionable labor saving gadgets justify widespread pollution?No chance does this recklessness pay off in some high tech utopia. That's as insane as believing my living in the van will inspire people to live more simply. I don't believe my van life will change anything but then I won't give up either. Join the resistance! Defend Humanity!

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Mad World

Best quote from tonight's Tears For Fears concert:

"This is awesome. They sound just like Tears for Fears."

I also won this shirt by hitting a miracle 30 ft basketball shot at the family fun center. Only some tattoo punks were watching so I can't confirm it. But Believe me, I wouldn't buy this shirt.
Except for striking out with a few teenage girls it was a fun evening in Hampton! I even found time to build a harness for an ion injector and change the exhaust on my van. You might call this a well rounded day in the life of a gypsy.

Monday, August 16, 2010

'69 Van is showing wear

Drained differential fluid with a siphon after seeing how dirty it was all over my brake shoes. While it was slowly dripping I thought I'd investigate the rust colored tailpipe. That was the last time that tail pipe will be on the van. It crumbled into my hands. Ok. Now I gotta go all the back until it stops crumbling. That turned to be almost to the muffler. And the only remaining part was pointing the exhaust exactly at the fuel tank. Only BP execs would think that was a good idea so I rerouted it with aluminum cans and the remains of a hard drive I've got stashed in my van since finding it on the beach clean up crew in Baja.

The wheel bearing, for those who care, is lubricated by the differential fluid through vent holes. I suspect the fluid was so dirty that it stopped lubricating anything. I'm still mystified by when I went to check the fluid level, expecting it to be low, it was overfilled. How do you overfill the differential with a fill hole on the side. There's only one level it can ever reach but it was way over that level even after it leaked out the wheel. I'm running through scenarios in my head as to how the fluid would be higher than the fill hole. Did they tip the van on one side and then fill it through the axle shaft? That would do it? Or was it jacked way up on one side when they filled it through the fill hole? That would allow you to add extra. I'm confused. Any Click & Clack wannabes out there? How could there be a cup or two extra fluid in a side fill hole differential. The point of the side hole is that you can't overfill it. You fill until it reached the bottom of the hole and that's it. You can't add anymore because it will just pour out. But someone managed to do just that.

OR something has blocked one side of the axle and pushed all the fluid into the bell housing. But there is an oil seal that prevents anything from getting in there and what I pulled out was all attached to the axleshaft.

Any ideas?

Now the fluid is clean and filled to the fill hole. 2 quarts of clean 90W gear oil.

The genius tire guys at the second place torqued the bolts to 150 pounds.
"150?"
"Yep, you got a big van there."
"I'll never get them off."
"You can if you stand on the tire iron."
"Are you blind? I weigh 150 with my belt buckle on. No chance is my weight going to move those nuts."
"It'll be fine."

I should've told them to give me a break and loosen them because today I wanted to inspect the other side bearing and of course could not budge the lug nuts without breaking my spine. I had a torque wrench up to 140 and it didn't move. No breaker bars in the shop unfortunately. Thanks, Tires For Less!

I have to say that I had the music on and was under the van and doing all kinds of maintenance. One thing that working with my hands all day does is give me lightning fast operation manuevers like taking two bolts off at once or visualizing actuator rods for the rear door latch that has given me problems from day one and in 5 minutes fixing it like a pro. I will be the last remaining 1969 Econoline expert in the world.

The whole process is like Zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance. I'm like Pirsig and take it too far into the whole "What caused this in the metaphysical sense?" zone that leads into a wonderland of philosophical adventures. My element is on my knees with a wrench in my hand fishing in a dark cavity of the van door for a hidden thread. Everywhere else I am a slave in an assembly line. The van is my universe and I am learning it back and forth. If that van gets to Labrador from Cabo San Lucas I'm telling you it will be one of the greatest accomplishments of my life. Maybe one of the greatest Gyspy journeys I've ever heard of. The Hippie equivalent of going to the moon. The van was in pieces in La Paz. I've already passed the one year mark that I've been trying to get there. But the only test is if it makes it one day. Snow season begins next week in Labrador so I'm out of time. I need a new tailpipe section and maybe new front brake shoes. And some kind of awning for the windows that leak badly.

On the job front I blazed through multiple semiconductor wafer cutting equipment cables like I was born to do it. Nothing fazes me now. The highest compliment they give assemblers is calling them "A Machine". Think about that.

I just wish semiconductor wafers were not an environmental abomination. I can hear the wolf howl in pain every time I crimp a male mate 'n lock pin on the end of ribbon cable. All of this labor will be cursed by some future generation. I guarantee it. These are smart people I work for but they aren't smart enough to see the big picture. That's what being an expert in electronics engineering does; it puts blinders on your personal philosophy. It takes a big man to critically examine what you are doing and take some moral inventory. There's not much of that going on at work. It's a rat race with no concern for consequences. I won't last much longer there. A friend told me I don't belong in population centers. I guess I'm still thinking of Portsmouth as a small town but it really is jam packed with traffic and people and $900 one bedroom apartments. It's too high class for my whiffle ball soul.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Chicken Farmer...

Kicked the tires of a neglected CM 400E today. You'll be happy to know I came to my senses and didn't buy it though I spun through Claremont like I'd owned it for years. I'm hesitant to buy a bike with no plates and the guy claims he had never put gasoline in it since he bought it. So...you want $900 because you found it in a field and brought it to your driveway?

Claremont and Bradford are two of the few places not ravaged by crystal meth. Every other town on the planet is full of junkies.This is the last week of regular posts because I'll be on the road next week. Maybe working and maybe not. Either way, the only stories I'll have to tell are getting tickets or getting fired or leaving this gasoline obsessed country for somewhere simple. Only an outsider would recognize how diseased this country is. It's like a doctor saying, "You gotta quit smoking or you will die of lung cancer." and the smoker says, "It's so hard. And my mother smoked for 40 years and died when she was 80." WE CAN'T DRIVE LIKE THIS ANYMORE. IT HAS TO STOP!"
But addiction is what America is about except gasoline addiction has no rehab clinic. And it fucks the entire planet. But don't take my word for it. Listen to Fox News and Rush Limbaugh. They'll tell you the truth!!

Two cylinders. That's what I want. Until then I'll be using my single cylinder 1974 Vespa Ciao as my main mode of transportation. Of course I will.

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Wasted on the way....


The good news is that my van went to Eliot under the worst conditions, the wheel seizing and squealing and differential fluid pouring into the road and here it is waiting for the bridge to go up again. I fixed it on my own terms and never doubted it for a second. The bad news is that someone got axed at my job and that means we're all on the chopping block.
Tired of all this running around. Everyone agrees the world is fucked up but when I say I want to spend my last $800 on a 30 year old motorcycle they look at me like I'm insane. If I'm insane then what do you call it when 5% of the population of the planet produces 25% of the pollution? What category of insane is that? What do you call a media that is obsessed with trivial celebrity cellulite stories while the polar ice caps are melting? IS that more insane than my sleeping in my van? Or less? Think about it.

I almost got punched in the face tonight because Wakefield gave up a walk off homerun in the 11th inning and I was so pissed I started to clap, like "Way to go, you asshole!" But everyone thought I was a hater because I was wearing my Dodgers cap. That made me laugh. ME? A HATER OF THE RED SOX? I decided (I was drunk and didn't decide anything) to play along and I literally got up and yelled, "Why? What's the problem? They suck. The Red Sox are LOSERS! THEY LOSE IN THE 11th INNING!" and I'll tell you that when you say that in a Red Sox bar the evil I got hit with was as bad as it gets. But you know what? I'm not afraid. Fuck anyone who assumes they know me. Fuck them even if they did punch me in the face. I had drunk a bowl of loudmouth soup and it tasted good. So I ran my mouth. All you fanatics are assholes. Get a life! The world is literally ending for many species and humanity is next in line. Excuse me for buying a motorcycle.
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Man in the Van by Oggy Bleacher is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 3.0 Unported License.