Bandit Country

Profiles in conformity

In order to blend in I have tried to find a costume that the locals can accept. They don't sell top of the line palm hats like this at the gas station and you'll have to wait to see me wearing what I call my "Ronald Reagan Pants" which are officially called "Ranch Jeans" made of stretchy polyester and better fitting than denim. With my stooped and shuffling walk it doesn't really make me look any better.

Remember The Alamo

 What basically happened was the Mexican gvt. made a terrible choice to invite American colonists to settle parts of Mexico north of the Rio Grande. Eventually the Mexicans decided to end free immigration (talk about reversed roles) and the Texian colonists felt offended because their letters sent back east saying how easy it was to find land in Mexico would not be honored anymore. Why didn't Mexico invite Mexicans to colonize this deserted hill country? Because the Comanche, Apache, Tonkawa, and Karankawas Indians didn't care if your skin was white or light brown before they attacked. Only the land poor Tennessee banjo strummer would accept the invitation. So...

Rain

It rained last night. Maybe Orgonite works.

You know you're old when...

You are too old to jerk off in a cup....

 Help infertile couples and get paid

Sperm Donors Needed! We are seeking healthy college students and graduates, men of ages 18-39 of all ethnic backgrounds.

On Strike

Someone asked me why I was sleeping in the parking lot and I told them I was on strike against my employment agency. I got assigned a job a ways north and I drove there expecting an 8 hour gig and got 4 hours. The tile setter had fucked up the arrangement of new tiles and I tore them up faster than they had anticipated, saving some and tossing the rest, badly bruising my right calf on the dumpster and breathing more mortar dust than legally allowed by God. Brand new building. $25,000 mistake. Oggy's total payment after Uncle Sam's mexican mordida was $27. Problem is that it cost me $32 in gas to get there and back. So if I had taken the day off and walked down to Tacos More and bought $5 worth of barbacoa and Jarritos it would've been the exact same financial outcome. Of course, minus the bleeding face from flying chips of tile. It was actually the most laughably lopsided ticket I've ever had from any day labor operation. I seriously laughed when Kourtney handed me the check. Her indifference was priceless as she clicked shoe styles on the computer. The best is that I lost more money when I went to the Pakistani grocer's to cash the check. So I decided to strike because I'm a disgusting Communist.