Drama in Paradise

The Salvation Army meal last night was some kind of meat patty covered with cheese. The milk had an expiration date of July 13, a week ago. The jug wasn't bloated but the milk made my eyes water when I put it in my mouth. I'm not being ungrateful because it's more than most Christians have done on my behalf. I merely want to describe my days as they happen because I feel alive and I feel surrounded by real people with character and troubles and limps and arthritis. There is no subterfuge or manipulations. I can handle pain but I can't tolerate ulterior motives. I prefer my bunkmates to the pretense of the Cosmopolitan world. I need authenticity to survive and the Salvation Army is real. There are no petty complaints here about politics or minor scratches in paint. We don't argue over small details like spoiled milk. The paper plates fold over and become useless but no one complains.

And Fuck You Temp Agencies

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Gun Control Means Using Both Hands

I'll tell you that when I went cowboy hat shopping I was one of only three people in the entire store who wasn't wearing a Glock 9 semiautomatic handgun on a waist holster. I mean, seriously, almost everyone carries a handgun in Texas. And I did not feel the least bit afraid because you can instantly look at someone with a $100 cowboy hat and a holster that cost more than my van and know he's not wasting any bullets unless a punk with a video game fantasy wants to test his luck in a real life shooting gallery. The crossfire would be bad but there will be one or two casualties and not two dozen. And I promise that the trial will be postmortem.

Are you mentally Ill? Take this test...

Answer this simple question...your nation's crops are about to utterly collapse due to anthropomorphic climate change. You:
A) Stock up on Ben & Jerry's ice cream because prices will probably go up.
B) Call congressman because it must have something to do with the potholes in the highway.
C) Dust the bicycle off to reduce fuel consumption and pollution
D) Not a damn thing.

Living In Hell

The cockroaches were only outnumbered by the maggots

I will see your Nasal Myasis and raise you one set of multiple personalities and severe depression.