Saturday, June 20, 2009

teach america

congratulations.
I think the key is to do something. People keep telling me,
"Mark you have to do something with your life."
and I say¨ "really? That sounds so extreme! Are you sure? Because I`ve tried to do stuff in the past and it totally didn`t work out."
but they insist.
but they only see part of the story. and I don`t do myself any favors with the crap I`ve been spouting lately about the end of the world and Jesus saving my soul...what was I thinking?
So get a job and be moderately dissatisfied with it like the rest of the world.
it seems we are in the matrix and there is no Morpheus with pills to set us free. Everyone just likes living in the the matrix world. there is no Neo.
wait a second...I just sounded like the old man in Antonia´s line...in his suicide note.
Awful. believe my, my suicide note will be much better. no references to pop culture. I promise!
maybe one reference to Cat Stevens but that is it! lol
I hate to say it but having someone in your life who inspires you to be better is a big part of it.
IF you share the Holden Caulfield Self consciousness Gene then you are fucked if left to your own devices.
God, I wish I didn`t care about the environment. I would make a great industrialist, planning huge developments in protected wildlife areas and then saying "I want to share this beauty with the world" at the press conference and over my shoulder is a pit full of sewage and dead turtles. Incredible ignorance from extremely smart people. Just ethically fucked. But they get the gorgeous multilingual girls and they live in the big beach houses.
Now I actually have to be a man ON PURPOSE.
So my advice to you is to man up now so you do not have the awful feeling I have now of meeting someone you`d really like to live with but you are so unprepared that...
I don`t know why all this is coming out. Forget everything I said. Live in the moment. fuck everything else.
Yoga philosophy says we are what we think. I believe it is a little simplified but yes, it is true.
I also believe we need to take chances. I think I should make it a goal to be slapped by a girl every week. Like, if I haven`t said something to offend someone so badly they hit me then I`m probably being too careful. I swear being careful has not helped me at all. I`m going to die anyway. Eventually I will die so there is no point in being so careful about what I say and do. The world has not accomodated me at all. It is literally a bitter fight from the moment I wake up every morning to when I pass out at night. I fight all day long with the current situation of unbridled and chaotic progress. See I start out talking to you about your problems and everything comes back to me. It`s childish. Everything is about me. It`s the thinking of a 11 year old. Because actually nothing is about me. nothing at all.
go watch a movie or something. forget me. I`ve gotta die before I become intolerably old.

----
I understand how you feel. I finished my teaching credential. I'm
applying for jobs all over the place. My aunt has an empty house in
new York (orangeburg) if I get a job there she will let me live in the
house. It's hard applying for jobs because there really aren't any.
Who would have thought that having a teaching credential would be so
useless.
Sent from my iPhone







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Man in the Van by Oggy Bleacher is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 3.0 Unported License.