Monday, November 16, 2009

what do you really want to do with your life?

sooner or later we all come to the closed down memorial bridge that represents our fucked up rusty life...
You can walk down lane A, walk down lane B or just jump over the side and see what happens.


I've spent more time in the last month looking at career paths then I ever did in my entire life. and it is just hard to decide one path over another. I think I can do all of them but I suspect that isn't true. I decided to go to HSU for music because I felt my whole life was in front of me and there would be time to do everything and what I felt was missing most was an understanding of music. I played the guitar and had no idea what I was doing but I knew that once I figured it out then I would blaze away. So in 6 years I got a 4 year degree in music. I see now that although that was necessary for me to understand new things fast (ha!) and to demonstrate how serious I was...I think about one semester or two of theory and musicianship would have been ok. I didn't need to analyze Stravinsky or Bartok concertos. And after it was over one thing led to another and one interest led to another and now I'm back to where I started like 10 years ago looking for a career path. I don't feel anything is really missing from my life like I did with music. I've learned a little and think I don't need a two year degree in advanced auto mechanics. I can just take a few classes...or maybe just rescue an old truck or motorcycle and learn everything I want to know. So that's an easy dream to rearrange.
Now the thing that has caught my attention in the last two years is solar electricity. alternative forms of energy. I meant to track down a solar guru living in Niland on the slab city. but it didn't happen. So I wanted to take a class on solar energy. and then there is this program at a NH community services and technology...that includes conservation and solar and electronics and is way more dynamic than fixing brakes and carbuerators...AND has career opportunities (energy conservation manager, Energy Guru) that look to be the way of the future.
I don't want to lose my identity as a gypsy and iconoclast and guitar playing motorcycle mechanic but this energy services program looks like it could be a path that works. I just wonder what people do when they decide on one path over another. And I wonder if you have found that. There is always time to do something, but there isn't time to do everything. It's agony that I can't take a beading class AND an Indian Cooking class. It's so unfair. Who makes the rules about the time we have alloted to us. Isn't there some kind of application I can fill out that will waive the time requirements on my life? It would be so easy. Just stop the clock and let me do all these things. I don't see the problem with that.
what do you think?


eddie said...

i wish i "knew" what i wanted to do with my life..i wish i knew what my calling is....kristina thinks it's weird that I don't know "exactly" what it is i want to do. Does anybody? Do people really wake up one day and say "i wish i worked at Enterprise Rental Car" or "i've always wanted to sell electrical components to companies in china over the phone since I was like 8 years old" I just don't get I weird because I have no clue what i'm good at or what I really want to do. The problem is I need to make a real living at whatever it is I choose...i have a daughter I can't just move to LA, get my headshots done, and find an agent to be an actor...i should have done that 14 years ago. now i'm confined to jobs like "health insurance sales" and "financial advisor" and "lead generator/biz development" I wish i could wake up, love what I do for work, and make tons of money at the same time...but i think that is the minority of the population. Most people just accept that they will be the Store Manager at The Gap, make mediocre money, and hate their job 4 out of 5 days. back to searching for jobs i guess. And people keep telling me to look for other things besides "sales" jobs. Is there anything else?? Are we not always "selling" something???? I guess i could be a human resources person or a model for Abercrombie....unfortuneatly I don't have the experience for either one.

Oggy Bleacher said...

Your buddy Don in Mexico said that he lost his job at the plexiglass factory the day his wife gave birth to his son. She was hysterical. He said he smoked his last cigarette and had 3 dollars in his wallet. Then he went back inside and told her his plan. He would go to night school and get his real estate license. That's what he did and made a living selling houses and also assessing houses. Real estate evaluator, I think is what it is called. You gotta find a role model.

eddie said...

sounds like Don really made it happen. At least I don't smoke.

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