Monday, November 30, 2009

Your Erroneous Zones


Raise your hand if you read this book in 1977. Anyone? Well, I found it in the library next to Dick Clark's treatise of adolescent life. Frankly, I'm blown away. With the info packed into these two books I feel empowered. Dick Clark tells me to plan ahead. But Wayne Dyer tells me to live in the moment. And, you better sit down, we can control our emotions. I know, it blew me away too. Why didn't anyone tell me this like twenty years ago when it would have done me some good. Basically, Dyer writes that I can feel any way I want to feel. So today I'm going to feel good. No more regretting the past and dreading the future. My landlady asked, "Where's the rent?" And I just sailed past her with my arms swinging. I was whistling a tune by Frank Sinatra.
"Hey, you!" she wheezed, "You owe a weeks worth of rent. You think we're running an orphanage?"
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She mumbled something about changing the locks but I was out the door...and feeling light on my feet.
Then it was down to the local convenient store to eat some food.
"You gonna pay for that?"
I laughed and said of course not.
I haughtily added, "Do you think I'm made of money? I'm hungry. Now stop bothering me while I masticate."
The baffled clerk called the police but I was long gone by the time the mounted police rode up.
I feel good.
Never mind that I am wearing pin stripe pants and a Xanadu shirt that would make anyone feel good.
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I control how I feel. I'm in control. So the new plan is to live my life in the present. No more journeys to the Erroneous Zones, AKA Land of the Self Defeating. No! I'm going to actualize myself. Get myself a watch fob and top hat and strut down Main Street Laconia wagging my junk.
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Don't stop in those erroneous zones.
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Man in the Van by Oggy Bleacher is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 3.0 Unported License.