Monday, January 4, 2010

Blog Sabotagued!

I have several theories why my computer exploded as I was writing my most damning post yet about Hannah Montana:
1. The FBI finally tracked me down and are going to thwart my efforts to expose the most damaging individual on Earth: The Evil Hannah Montana.
2. They want to lure me into the Library, where I must now use 15 minute slots to post, so they can capture me.
3. Hannah Montana's spies are everywhere!
4. The Gods love Hannah Montana.
5. The negativity I was vibing actually destroyed the motherboard on my computer.
6. They wanted to get my computer into a shop so they could implant pro-Hannah Montana software.
7. The Gods want me to concentrate on the Santa Cruz book which is turning out to be the most insane thing I've ever written or read. The pieces are there but I need the storytelling abilities of Stephen King to pull it off. I'm really not a good fiction writer. I'm hoping the characters will just write their own story.

Either way, the computer is destroyed...or is probably destroyed. I'll be writing the Santa Cruz story and waiting for my food stamps. No more rants. This gives you time to read all those stories that no one seems to have read. The Hollywood Moment story. Did anyone find that amusing? Or even read it? Ok. 2 minutes left. Gotta go.


Anonymous said...

Why would you call it 'fiction?' Call it a nonfiction 'memoir' and make up what you want.

hardworker said...

I read the year in review, it took a long time and I was hardly mentioned. How about you put that pissing video back up? I've come to terms with it.

hardworker said...

how about writing in long hand and scanning in the pages at Kinko's? I've wanted to do that myself, but it's a bit slow. You may be the only man from the internets with enough time on his hands to whittle a hand drawn blog.

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Man in the Van by Oggy Bleacher is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 3.0 Unported License.