Saturday, January 16, 2010

my own library

Thoreau once said he had a library of 1000 books and 800 of them were his own. That's cause he self published A week on the Connecticut and Merrimac Rivers book. Imagine, no one wanted to read about his trip up the river to New Hampshire! Why not? So interesting. He ended up with what didn't sell. Then his sister ended up with those after he died along with the copies of Walden that got returned from the book dealers. It was a bomb because it discussed simple living. Why anyone would chose to live simply in 1845 was a mystery to them. A month ago there was a meeting in Copenhagen to determine the fate of mankind. I'll bet no one brought a copy of Walden.

Anyway, I've now got a library of 15 books and ten of them are mine. I need to sell these books to make back the money they cost me. Food stamps are looming in my future unless a bar books the Riverbank Review Band that I just started.

Uh, so, the books cost like $5. I will personally scrawl something indecipherable on the front page. Remember, this is an anthology of writers from Los Angeles who answered a craigslist ad and sent in a story. most of the authors didn't proofread their story. and really, it makes no difference. One story is about Kermit the frog hiring a detective to spy on Miss Piggy. The detective is Elmer Fudd. It's surreal, I think, which is another word for shitty.

my story has no point either.

Yeah, operators are standing by. My goal is not to pass these 10 books to my brother when I die. He will just refuse them along with my remains.
"Take those dirty hippy ashes off my property," he will say. "And I wouldn't take those books if I had a fireplace to burn them in and it was below zero."
You, Obi wan, are my only hope.


Anonymous said...

For chrissake, will you sell the books for $15? You can throw in free shipping, but don't lose money on the deal.

hardworker said...

I'll take one, tell me the total for shipping and handling to 604 and I'll send a check. Can you dedicate it to "Hantanna"?

Oggy Bleacher said...

I'll dedicate it to the whore of bab\yklon

fucking hell
there ain't no law.

la roo
it's so useless
where is the garden hose???

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Man in the Van by Oggy Bleacher is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 3.0 Unported License.