Sunday, December 11, 2011

Decriminalize Poverty


Nov. 27

6:57 a.m. - Responded to Walton Alley where doors were found open at a residence.
10:27 a.m. - A Mill Pond Way caller complained about loud construction equipment.
11:15 a.m. - Assisted with a domestic incident.
11:34 a.m. - Report taken about a landlord / tenant dispute which became physical and ended with injury.
1:58 p.m. - Responded to Elwyn Road for a report about a “creepy” man in a van. Responding officer found homeless people in the van and advised them to move along.

Interestingly, the "creepy" man living in a van on Elwyn Road (near the Urban Forestry/Yokens area) IS NOT me. I feel some sympathy for him and his family of homeless creepy people but I've never met him. Let's jump forward a week in time...


Dec. 5
5:17 a.m. - Checked on a suspicious car parked on Andrew Jarvis Drive.
7:55 a.m. - Officer dispatched to a donut shop where someone said a child was heard screaming in a bathroom. The officer determined the child was being disciplined by a parent.
9:42 a.m. - Report taken about a theft at the high school.
10:04 a.m. - Arrested Christina Muder, 34, of 11 Old Rochester Road, Dover, on a warrant.
2:27 p.m. - A Lafayette Road caller reported the theft of $310.
7:36 p.m. - Assisted at Spinney and Middle roads with a two-car crash.
10:23 p.m. - Responded to Greenland Road for a complaint about a man living in a van.

However, this man who had a long conversation ("Do you live in here?" "I don't know you well enough to answer that question.) with Officer Small of the PPD at 10:30 pm on the 5th WAS me. And I knew that this day would come (not that my path would cross with the Police, which happens routinely) that I would be in the Portsmouth Police Log. I feel like the other guy on Elwyn Road stole my thunder and by the time they got to me they didn't have the heart to care. "Oh, another guy living in a van."

This is the event that I have been waiting for, the event to formally declare my departure from this area. Nothing says, "Get Out" like when your lifestyle, chosen for its simplicity and reduced environmental footprint, lands you in the police blotter. I do not belong here. I don't care to judge the character of a culture that would criminalize a lifestyle calculated to reduce needs and resource use (you fucking ignorant snobs), but I can clearly read that Portsmouth is a round hole (filled with ignorant assholes) and I'm a square peg (who will never conform). So, goodbye.
Creative Commons License
Man in the Van by Oggy Bleacher is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 3.0 Unported License.