Sunday, December 11, 2011

Decriminalize Poverty

Nov. 27

6:57 a.m. - Responded to Walton Alley where doors were found open at a residence.
10:27 a.m. - A Mill Pond Way caller complained about loud construction equipment.
11:15 a.m. - Assisted with a domestic incident.
11:34 a.m. - Report taken about a landlord / tenant dispute which became physical and ended with injury.
1:58 p.m. - Responded to Elwyn Road for a report about a “creepy” man in a van. Responding officer found homeless people in the van and advised them to move along.

Interestingly, the "creepy" man living in a van on Elwyn Road (near the Urban Forestry/Yokens area) IS NOT me. I feel some sympathy for him and his family of homeless creepy people but I've never met him. Let's jump forward a week in time...

Dec. 5
5:17 a.m. - Checked on a suspicious car parked on Andrew Jarvis Drive.
7:55 a.m. - Officer dispatched to a donut shop where someone said a child was heard screaming in a bathroom. The officer determined the child was being disciplined by a parent.
9:42 a.m. - Report taken about a theft at the high school.
10:04 a.m. - Arrested Christina Muder, 34, of 11 Old Rochester Road, Dover, on a warrant.
2:27 p.m. - A Lafayette Road caller reported the theft of $310.
7:36 p.m. - Assisted at Spinney and Middle roads with a two-car crash.
10:23 p.m. - Responded to Greenland Road for a complaint about a man living in a van.

However, this man who had a long conversation ("Do you live in here?" "I don't know you well enough to answer that question.) with Officer Small of the PPD at 10:30 pm on the 5th WAS me. And I knew that this day would come (not that my path would cross with the Police, which happens routinely) that I would be in the Portsmouth Police Log. I feel like the other guy on Elwyn Road stole my thunder and by the time they got to me they didn't have the heart to care. "Oh, another guy living in a van."

This is the event that I have been waiting for, the event to formally declare my departure from this area. Nothing says, "Get Out" like when your lifestyle, chosen for its simplicity and reduced environmental footprint, lands you in the police blotter. I do not belong here. I don't care to judge the character of a culture that would criminalize a lifestyle calculated to reduce needs and resource use (you fucking ignorant snobs), but I can clearly read that Portsmouth is a round hole (filled with ignorant assholes) and I'm a square peg (who will never conform). So, goodbye.


Anonymous said...

Well this is 2012 and not 1973, in which you unfortunately are stuck in, as well as your adversity you also are testing the "Times" with your "NON CONFORMITY"

You may want to take your square peg to another square place, It's seems as if you are testing this foriegn place "SOCIETY" and feeding from it to source your blog. Perhaps you conform to a community in which involve your way of thinking,instead of waging war with your simplicity against a complex world you choose to live in.

WeRo said...


I think you should strive to make the police blotter weekly.

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

people are mean

Anonymous said...

animals rule

Anonymous said...

one van.................some bullshit

Anonymous said...

One Anonymous, two anonymous, three assholes, oh my.

me said...

Liars, and's so unfair to lie.

Anonymous said...

Keep a fire burning in your eyes...

nowheretohide said...

Until the dance becomes your very own
No matter how close to yours
Another's steps have grown
In the end there is one dance you'll do alone

Creative Commons License
Man in the Van by Oggy Bleacher is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 3.0 Unported License.