Thursday, December 8, 2011

Ignition Coil

Left one misfired at 1000rpm. Right one saved the day
This is what an ignition coil looks like. It's $20 from rockauto...not $86 from ripoff mechanics. And my spark plug cost $1 and not $9. The labor was tricky because I didn't have the pleasure of a warm garage and good lighting and it was pouring freezing rain on my plaid pants and I'd never seen an ignition coil before this but I still got it done in less time than a mechanic would charge. My feeling is that it costs time and money to learn how to do these things yourself but it costs time and money to get ripped off by mechanics. Old mom's advice applies: "Education is expensive, but ignorance is more expensive."
The hardest part was getting the spark plug out of the hole without letting the acorn bits and mouse nest shavings fall into the cylinder and clog the valves. I used a non-magnetic socket so the plug kept falling out. I didn't have any rubber hose to use so I stuck a piece of packing tape off the box into the socket and it was enough to wedge the plug in there so I could take it out.
Then it was off to Autozone where I cleared the misfire code on their diagnostic machine and the Grand Marquis is now running like a champ. I had three people come up to me to buy crack and they were baffled that I would be driving such a pimped out car and not sell crack.
"Don't you got no whores, neither?" they asked as they scratched their pock-marked faces.
"What the fuck that shit on the radio?"
"Burt Bacharach. The Look of Love box set. Want me to turn it up?"
"You fucking queer?"
"Naw. You know how long it took me to fix the ignition coil in this car?"
"Get away!"
And I was off into the rainy night to look for wood at Motorbikes plus but their pallets had all been disposed of and I had no wood and ended up under the railroad bridge digging up railroad ties to burn with creosote coating my lungs. So, you can add that to the list of "Only Homeless Person I know who..." wears Ray Ban sunglasses, shops at Philbricks, Drives a Grand Marquis, Quibbles over Steak Sauce brands, idolizes Hermann Hesse and builds semiconductor cable harnesses...and plays Honeysuckle Rose on the piano at the old folks home. I'm raising the bar on homelessness.

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Man in the Van by Oggy Bleacher is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 3.0 Unported License.