Four year old Girl forced to...

I've found myself gratuitously reading the news on CNN even though it's never informative and almost always upsetting in an irrelevant way. George Clooney is open to marriage? Who gives a fuck? Amanda Knox gets $4 million to write a book? So what? Whitney Houston dies? Boo hoo. It's all stupid and pointless. The experience is probably not much different than reading my blog...ha ha ha.

But seriously, someone asked me if I have a fairy godmother. I said no, but I have an uncle I'm keeping a close eye on. ha ha ha.

I'm here all week...try the veal.

Tip the bartender, he touches your drinks.

(I've been listening to Frank Sinatra and Sammy Davis jr. performances from 1954. Those are the kind of jokes they tell while singing "Lady is a Tramp".)

The subject of news is a constant source of displeasure to me. I understand that no one can report on the millions off 4 year old girls who wake up and go about their culturally accepted day without incident. That's what blogs and facebook is for. So the news can only mention 4 year old girls who stray into the abnormal and freakish. And that includes girls who can sing like the dead Whitney Houston and girls who are chained to a water heater and forced to fellate their brother so the father can sell the footage to voyeurs in Russia. CNN reports on both of that class regularly and the Onion has a laugh at their expense. The only sensible thing to do when confronted with a headline "Girl forced to..." or "Girlfriend Found in...." or "Cow Gives Birth To..." or "Woman's husband used broomstick to..."* is move on. Don't read the story. Ted Turner is a manipulative motherfucker when it comes to news. CNN website is a masterpiece of the pseudo experience. He and Murdoch must give each other handjobs at night because they shill the worst kind of puerile crap and make millions. Don't feed his ego.
Better yet, read the comments only. Here are a few from a story that I don't have the heart to explain to you....

LydiaMae

FetusAborter** - where do you come up with "Christian Americans should be ashamed that they are practically condoning this type of behavior?" What does that have to do with the price of tea in China? There was no mention of religion in the article. 

DamnDesert

How about we just put them all in a cell together and throw away the key. She'll be screwed up for life

• delsam

  This is just sick.  The father, the brother and the step-mother, and not one of them was normal?  Twisted.

JohnnyNoname

I think some cattle prod treatment is in order before tying the anchor. 

jessica1229

Calling these people "crazy" is an insult to those of us who live every day with mental illness and do not commit criminal acts. As a person who lives everyday with Bipolar Disorder and manages to do so without breaking the law or harming others... these people are straight up evil.  

A history of Oggy's Madness

You can just imagine what they are commenting on. It's like "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" reenacted every day somewhere in Arkansas. I'm going to write a song using these comments as lyrics then go get drunk. Tip the bartender.

* Let's have a contest for who can write the most disturbing lead that doesn't actually say anything but implies the worst. It also has to be so alluring that you want to read the rest even though you know it will not edify you at all. Here's my submission: "Murder weapon was gift from..."

**Yes, this person's CNN username is Fetusaborter. Don't you love America?