Friday, October 12, 2012

Torque Screwdriver

Question: What kind of a person would shop for a $240 torque screwdriver?
Answer: A rich one.

We used one of these screwdrivers at my semi-conductor cable harness gig. The screws on the power supply connector required 12lbs of torque and hearing that indicator click was like an orgasm to my engineering personality. I vowed if I could ever afford one I would get one not because I need it (how many screws come with torque specs?) but because the thing is a work of mechanical engineering art and it's the best screwdriver I've ever used. King Arthur has his Excalibur; I have a torquing screwdriver.
And if you think this is a frivolous purchase you should see what other people are buying. My coworkers wonder how I can be so frugal.


Anonymous said...

Nice Haircut. You look like Tom Cruise. Just don't start jumping on couches with Jay watching on.

One of the problems with the retirement plan is you start buying shit like that Torque screwdriver and you just can't stop. You need the next thing that is best, useful, necessary for your trade and then you realize that your $5000 paycheck isn't enough to buy those spare parts for the van cause you couldn't possibly go to Costa Rica (which in my opinion is the worst place for an American to 'retire' to because the culture of America has bred a bunch of thieves and crack addicts) with out a spare carburetor and 15 other meaningless parts you will never use until you have to have them and then you will curse yourself for not having spent the extra 300 on those parts.
Kiss that windfall away until you actually start making real money. Five Figures in a day. That is real money. Ask the Commercial Fisherman who come home and put their entire paycheck up their nose and in a Whores pocket and have to back to sea in week cause their truck payments are due.


Anonymous said...

Oh and I will say it again. Dallas (Southlake) Thursday through Sunday.


Oggy Bleacher said...

my vices are chocolate milkshakes and custom guitars and currently I'm only satisfying the milkshake craving.
The real creeping fear I have is what the boss told me, "You'd better prepare to retire or die in the Eagle Ford Shale region."
because if you do well and thrive in the oil industry then you will be hunted down by Halliburton and Shell and paid to be the logistics manager...and they will pay you a price you can't turn down...and you will retire or die in the middle of the desert...and your wife and mistress will be rich and your kids will resent you and you will never get to Tibet or Spain or Guatemala or write your epic romance novel. The torque screwdriver will be your only legacy. And when your friends visit Dallas you will be busy...cracking the crust of the earth and releasing clouds of H2S gas to obtain sour oil...because that's is your priority now. Is that sophisticated?

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Man in the Van by Oggy Bleacher is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 3.0 Unported License.