Saturday, July 6, 2013

Why Risky Business Forecasted The Future

"It was great the way her mind worked. No guilt, no doubts, no fear. None of my specialties. Just the shameless pursuit of immediate gratification. What a capitalist." - Joel Goodsen

I watched Risky Business (1983) last night instead of attending the annual whore bazaar at the local donkey show festival. Call me a prude. I grew up with Risky Business and thought it was a fantasy but the events of the last 30! years have me reconsidering that assessment. See, Joel Goodsen (Borrowing Hawthorne's "Goodman Brown" as a source name) wasn't a fantasy...the high school senior who fucks a hooker, damages his father's car, flunks two midterms, ruins his GPA, fucks up an interview with a Princeton admissions suit, and then eventually has to buy all his property back from a pimp but ultimately gets the hooker (whose heart is closer to a real hooker than most) and his reputation is slightly tarnished with his parents but who overlook everything because he does get admitted to Princeton Business School (on the strength of his hookers blowing the interviewer at the brothel (Joel's house). Fantasy? Pure Titillating Nonsense?  No. IT WAS COMPLETELY TRUE and I'm going to tell you why.

It took 30 years for a complete meltdown of the economy, wrought by Enron fuckwads (Skilling M.B.A. from Harvard. Kenneth Lay wasn't ivy league but he was all business.)

See, these guys learned from Joel Goodsen. Fuck the public because when you are smart and making money and "fulfilling human desire" then you'll always be admired. America was built by people like Joel Goodsen.

So, the teenagers of 1983 (Oggy was 12) all grew up with Joel as their role model. Awesome. They plundered the cunts of America, copper, aluminum, gold, and slapped a price tag on every pussy for the endless consumption and fulfillment of mankind. Skilling and Lay were energy brokers but the meteoric rise of digital pornography was spearheaded by the close cousins of Joel Goodsen. A pretty 18 year old can make $7.25/hr at the mall selling ear rings, or put on a pair of stilettos and make $400/hr sucking cock on camera. One year on her knees in Miami or Van Nuys will guarantee she graduates from the college of her choice with little debt, or she can get a car or a ton of cool tattoos. Who do we have to thank for this business climate? Joel was only being practical in his sales pitches to the local losers of Chicago. You pay for sex regardless of the girl, so you might as well guarantee she puts out. The Porsche ended up in Lake Michigan but after a vacuum job and a new set of morals it'll be on a used car lot with a sign that says "Fresh Tires". The film isn't training bad morals; it's making an artistic comment that there are always back doors to success...and not everyone (almost no one) is a straight laced factory man.

Joel's face at the end of the movie is classic as his mother asks, "Where are you going to get the money to pay for [the glass egg]?" Joel knows that once you crack the egg of morality and make a whore omelet then there are no limits. He grins like the devil. Good man.

 Here are the screencapture videos of this post in progress. I had to break it up into 2 to accommodate the MB limits allowed by blogger. This is really getting narcissistic but it's for the good of my craft. It's possible my computer is not fast enough to process good screen captures while at the same time doing a full scan and internet at the same time. But all this is minor compared to the state of America. We get distracted by the insignificant details and let the elephant crush us against the wall.

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Man in the Van by Oggy Bleacher is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 3.0 Unported License.