Friday, September 13, 2013

Call Me Back in 2014

"Is Oggy Bleacher there?"
"Yes. This is Senor Bleacher."
"This call is being recorded."
"Oh, yeah? You gonna put it on YouTube?"
"Mr. Bleacher, this is Collective Services and we are calling on behalf of Citizens Bank."
"You have me confused with someone who cares."
"Mr. Bleacher, I'd like to..."
"Listen, now isn't a good time. I'm working." (Oggy is bending 3/4'' natural gas tubing as a dust storm lashes his eyes)
"I'm sorry to hear that. When would be a better time to call you?"
"2014. One year."
"I can't postpone this call for 3 months."
"No, I didn't say January, I said, one year. A full year. Call me back in September 2014. I'll be free then."
"I see...."
"Do you?"
"Sir, this is regarding..."
(dead serious) "Call me back in one year. That works better for me." (Oggy struggles not to laugh)
"One year?"
"Sure, why not? I'll still be here and you'll still be a hatchet man for a predatory bank, still grinding it out at a dead end call center in Pakistan. Who cares when we have this conversation?"
"Have a good day, Sir."
 (Into a phone with a dial tone) "I'm going to write a clause into my will that none shall ever pay Citizens Bank. You'll get nothing. Not a dime. I'll die with my millions.....hahahahaha....I'll take every nickle to the fucking grave...."

 It left a bad taste in my mouth, of dust, debt, globalized dehumanization, ignored problems, useless and futile circumstances. The majority of my time is reacting to manipulative news cycle designed to repulse and enrage...yet have no impact on my life. Like a puppet on a string I dance with jiggling muffin top madness over my rancher jeans. No point to any of it. I tried to make the news with my wolf quest...and it did succeed in forcing my own imagination into overdrive...but the news was waiting for me when I returned and I made almost no news...only terrorized the coast of Labrador, getting lost, singing on rocky beaches of my own ego.
Creative Commons License
Man in the Van by Oggy Bleacher is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 3.0 Unported License.