Saturday, March 15, 2014
Default Living
As I flush a few more of my previous values down the toilet I inch closer to the level of revolting apathy I tried to avoid my whole life. Throwing away food, aluminum, wasting gas, frivolous shopping, all the things I was repulsed by are my life now...so I sort of blend in. I don't fit, obviously, because I'm arthritic and skeletal from chronic pain, but I blend in a little better. I mistakenly bought fruit juice instead of beer the other day and immediately felt the old shame of failure to belong, to not go along with the majority. So I bought a nice 25 oz Hurricane Category Five and spilled it all over the dinner table during a failed magic trick and everyone laughed and felt better that I was not an outcast, but inside I was ashamed and upset. When women are trained to act like Soap Opera characters with stripper alter egos to get the attention of men and that particular approach repulses me then I'd say I'm pretty much doomed. Culturally....I don't want to ...who gives a fuck?
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