Monday, September 29, 2014

Original Flavored Jenny Crunch Returns to Stores

This movie ending is starting to feel like our beginning. Is today in 2014? 30 years after 1984? Or is it 1984 again, 30 years before 2014? Or 1954? Note that Winston moves his knight...then moves it back. Then begins to move it again and drops the knight. Colorado Koch brother knights are trying to erase history books to fit the narrative of a brave and triumphant Eurasia...I mean Oceania...I mean Eastasia...I mean Guatemala...the knight moves back one and over two. Winston is playing an endless chess game against an invisible opponent. And the Koch brothers fill an empty chair like ghosts on a cotton plantation. Notice the Black Knight is about to take the White Queen like the anti-christ Miley Cyrus raped by a smiling teddy bear. Prophetic or nonsense? White pawn must take black Knight.

The Orwell book ends:
"Two gin-scented tears trickled down the sides of his nose. But it was all right, everything was all right, the struggle was finished. He had won the victory over himself. He loved Big Brother"

But in Sacramento the Governor successfully erased the Confederate Flag from the gift shop of the Capitol. Not that the flag was being sold proudly, but mostly because it was on a phony Confederate bank note from 1863, that was sold with some kind of historical incongruity like fake Bill of Rights are sold in D.C. or like the fake Babe Ruth contract with the Yankees I used as a dart board in 1983. Sure, there are people proud of the fact Slave States like Alabama seceded but, believe me, they would not use these fake Confederate bank notes to show their pride. It's history, or was history...and now the history is about alleged fake confederate bank notes once sold somewhere...maybe. A government formed to defend citizens opens fire on citizens. At least Hong Kong police have an excuse...since they are not advertised as a Democracy. When your police force looks like Hong Kong's then you know you have a problem. Putting dog shit in the oven doesn't make it a frozen pizza but we've elected people serving us sliced hot dog shit. America doesn't "build" democracies, it destroys them in Honduras, Guatemala, Panama. The refugees of these military coups flee north and are doubly punished by first being labeled illegal by the very culprits of their plight, and then being sent back to the blighted landscape they fled from, the unstable landscape America created. The combination of ignorance and arrogance to criticize someone for fleeing a house you casually set on fire is more troubling that Eastasia's victories on the African Front. Billy Joel was wrong; we did start the fire.

I don't know if any of this actually happened or if there is a black market now trading fake confederate bank notes. I don't know shit except the Knight moves forward two and over one.

The important bulletin: Suspect cornered, officer awarded, man beheaded, terror warnings, airport burned, lose weight, look sexy, eat less, earn more, fuck harder with a bigger cock, good cop, bad cop. If I merely repeat the news I am flagged by FBI metadata assailants as hostile. Because it may not be news...or even exist. Edward Snowden is the new Emmanuel Goldstein. Edward Goldstein. Emmanuel Snowden. Emmit Gotfried, Erin Smith. Snoward Dengold. It all blends together. I even wonder if Orwell is not an artifice of the the false vocabulary to placate intellectuals. George Bleacher. Oggy Orcher. Ogwell Geoforce. Maybe a future Oggy will be employed with writing denouncements of past Oggys. The knight moves...

In the future of 2013 commercial plazas are guarded by toll booths. The homeless scratch lotto tickets for food and watch digital folders filled with surveillance footage looking for murders. But they don't know that most of the footage is actually staged by actors to test if the homeless are doing their jobs. Oggy is hired to work in the surveillance center but is fired after he misses three murders (one was real and involved a known criminal Oggy fed with illegal garden food). The bait car is waiting and the drones carry cameras, so we are told. The knight moves forward two and over one.

News is a product like toilet paper and Batman Comics. There is no need to lie when you can interview someone about the taste of a new Gelato flavored cigarette and then make that news. Or invite them to interview each other. Events too big to be ignored are spun to fit the commercial narrative. Bigfoot on Mars, gaseous Jupiter evaporates to reveal the hidden enemy who will be revealed after this message from our sponsor:

"Crinkle cut your love life with a 4 speed online atmosphere containing extra foot freshening qualities and anti-smog heat-activated crystals. Ask your doctor if Jenny Crunch is right for your cat's breath! Jenny Crunch, the Crunch that makes you orgasm!"

That's right, Oggy of the future is hired to drop acid and babble nonsense that becomes the droning commodities your kids will consider buying. Like a milk cow in a dark stable that smells of straw and shit Oggy will be harvested for his non-sequitur knight moves. Dancing his pulverized cripple foot to flashdance remixes, his cerebral nipples feed dramatic transsexual flies. Orwell saw oppression as the future means to docile people but I think we're moving toward the opposite, total debauchery. The torture is only hard on the sober people so it will be determined a stoned populace are more docile. The Russian Revolution was fueled by vodka. The Mexican Revolution was funded by Tequila. The French Revolutionaries had their wine. Americans have crystal meth and revolution is the furthest thing from what is left of their minds.

The irony of the homeless tooth challenged asylum escapees bearing witness to their own torture and forced drugging is the gradual training of Americans to drug themselves.

Truth: A bank can make a loan because it borrows the money from another bank that bought the original loan so it could loan money to someone else.
Lie: See above.

Let's all claw ourselves to death for a taste of Jenny Crunch. At least until they release Jenny Crunch Plus!
Creative Commons License
Man in the Van by Oggy Bleacher is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 3.0 Unported License.