Disdain

"I don't even know what it means to be self-loathing," said Robert in response to the remark someone in the crowd tossed out. "I know what you think it should mean, that I'm ashamed of my own behavior so I transfer my own shame into an attack on others, who are really a substitute for myself, like I'm too much of a coward to commit suicide, so I punish others, while subconsciously punishing myself. Is that what you're talking about? Help me out here."

The handful of spectators grumbled to one another but made no clear confirmation or denial of Robert's convoluted summary.

Robert's latest hunger strike was outside Seaside Books which was casually selling copies of the Bestseller Money in Minutes written by a real estate loan agent/anti-christ. The implied argument Robert stressed was that while freedom of speech and press were noble and worthwhile ideals, they did not require a bookstore to sell anything, and since carrying an item like Money in Minutes or its close relative Mein Kampf, the bookstore was approving of the content by making it available for sale. This was a delicate and controversial position so Robert had arranged for daily "conversations" to inform the public of the specific nature of his concerns and to clarify the dangers of confusing freedom with obligation. He disliked being labeled a censor so his current conversation was titled "Discrimination is not censorship." The author of the real estate book was free to sell it on the street like Larry did with Needles in My Arm: A True Story of Psychiatric Butchers In America (which was conspicuously absent from the Seaside Books shelves). These particulars had hardly been broached when someone had shouted out that Robert should "get a job" and stop being "a self-loathing son of a bitch."

Robert shrugged at the silence before clarifying, "Or do you mean that I secretly loath myself but suppress my loathing and target innocent businesses as a way to vent my frustration? Because I don't know what that means. I'm not self-loathing. This business chooses to sell a book that openly describes usury tactics