words of wisdom

"I go forth to make new demands on life. I wish to begin this summer well; to do something in it worthy of it and me; to transcend my daily routine and that of my townsmen...I pray that the life of this summer may ever lie fair in my memory. May I dance as I have never done! May I persevere as I have never persevered!"
it sounds like Thoreau. maybe Emerson or Whitman. I don't know but I know you need some inspiration. and words usually don't work. Actions are the only currency. I swear to god this is true. words are just bullshit and it is easy to substitute words for action. rock on.

news from the grease monkey

July finds me underneath a 1969 van, arms covered in decades old grease fixing a
ruptured timing cover gasket that caused all the coolant to leak out. A serious
job for any mechanic since it involves removing many components. No local mechanic
can be trusted to tackle this job so I did it. The conditions under which
this repair job was complete were ridiculous. I may as well have done it in
a fucking oven or a sauna with my hands tied. It was less a repair job than an
archaeological dig to find a part that broke off a steam engine in 1880...and then
to fix that steam engine so it will run again. Insane. The one real miracle was that I was carrying the 22mm
socket I needed to take the vibration damper off the crankshaft nose.
that is a miracle because
A) this is a ford van and uses SAE sizes.
B) That socket was originally purchased to take the top caps off a 1986 Honda Motorcycle
so we could change the oil seal on the forks.
C) I had no other sizes bigger than 19mm.

but it fit perfectly and it popped off. That would have really been a pain to get that part.




I'm trying to find a rhythm to
my life again. traveling with no definite plans is a bit insane and everyone
(meaning everyone but hobos and gypsys) looks at me as a useless piece of scum.
It is difficult to maintain dignity. I can see why hobos just continue being
hobos. To re-adapt to society is too much. The monkey has been evicted from the
family and can not be allowed to poison the greater tribe. I see that. I'm no
dummy. or maybe I'm a little dumb.
anyway.

I'm in la paz, Mexico, playing solo jazz guitar at an empty restaurant and
singing cat stevens cover songs. I want to be a cat stevens tribute artist
complete with beard and no shoes and glass bead necklaces. Is there something
wrong with that? I may even get a wig.
Not everyone can be a foreign dignitary or heart surgeon. There must be a place
in this world for cat stevens tribute artists who play to empty restaurants in
obscure Mexican towns. well, now that I put it that way maybe there is no place
for such a person. But I don't want to conform. What kind of a person would I be
to conform now after I have refused to conform for so long? A quitter?
I've got to live. I've got to get in the game.

I lived in Venice Beach. Near Vernon. on Rialto Ave. vernon, I believe, is in
Dogtown, the place where you buy crack. But that is all of Los
Angeles.

teach america

congratulations.
I think the key is to do something. People keep telling me,
"Oggy you have to do something with your life."
and I say¨ "really? That sounds so extreme! Are you sure? Because I`ve tried to do stuff in the past and it totally didn`t work out."
but they insist.
but they only see part of the story. and I don`t do myself any favors with the crap I`ve been spouting lately about the end of the world and Jesus saving my soul...what was I thinking?
So get a job and be moderately dissatisfied with it like the rest of the world.
it seems we are in the matrix and there is no Morpheus with pills to set us free. Everyone just likes living in the the matrix world. there is no Neo.
wait a second...I just sounded like the old man in Antonia´s line...in his suicide note.
Awful. believe my, my suicide note will be much better. no references to pop culture. I promise!
maybe one reference to Cat Stevens but that is it! lol
I hate to say it but having someone in your life who inspires you to be better is a big part of it.
IF you share the Holden Caulfield Self consciousness Gene then you are fucked if left to your own devices.
God, I wish I didn`t care about the environment. I would make a great industrialist, planning huge developments in protected wildlife areas and then saying "I want to share this beauty with the world" at the press conference and over my shoulder is a pit full of sewage and dead turtles. Incredible ignorance from extremely smart people. Just ethically fucked. But they get the gorgeous multilingual girls and they live in the big beach houses.
Now I actually have to be a man ON PURPOSE.
So my advice to you is to man up now so you do not have the awful feeling I have now of meeting someone you`d really like to live with but you are so unprepared that...
I don`t know why all this is coming out. Forget everything I said. Live in the moment. fuck everything else.
Yoga philosophy says we are what we think. I believe it is a little simplified but yes, it is true.
I also believe we need to take chances. I think I should make it a goal to be slapped by a girl every week. Like, if I haven`t said something to offend someone so badly they hit me then I`m probably being too careful. I swear being careful has not helped me at all. I`m going to die anyway. Eventually I will die so there is no point in being so careful about what I say and do. The world has not accomodated me at all. It is literally a bitter fight from the moment I wake up every morning to when I pass out at night. I fight all day long with the current situation of unbridled and chaotic progress. See I start out talking to you about your problems and everything comes back to me. It`s childish. Everything is about me. It`s the thinking of a 11 year old. Because actually nothing is about me. nothing at all.
go watch a movie or something. forget me. I`ve gotta die before I become intolerably old.

----
I understand how you feel. I finished my teaching credential. I'm
applying for jobs all over the place. My aunt has an empty house in
new York (orangeburg) if I get a job there she will let me live in the
house. It's hard applying for jobs because there really aren't any.
Who would have thought that having a teaching credential would be so
useless.
Sent from my iPhone

living in La Paz

I could not stand the heat in the van anymore. it was sweltering. and so I had to choose. and Cabo San Lucas was not only a den of vipers and junkies, but also expensive. so La Paz and it`s cool coast only cost $180 a month all inclusive with furniture. so that is where I am. Madero and Juarez. El Centro de LA Paz.
Classes of Spanish are a bit price...around $800 a month so that might not happen as planned.
The end of the world is coming but I`m focusing on the guitar. The patterns are beginning to fall under my fingers without effort and the latest song we all have to get acquainted with is "handbags and gladrags" as performed by Rod Stewart. go ahead and check that out. I will have some videos as soon as I can find a better place to upload them.
here´s the stereophonics doing a cover of a cover...

ain`t no sunshine

ain`t no sunshine...when she`s gone.