Top Reasons Oggy has No Place in Portsmouth

Portsmouth police log

Oct. 3

1:42 a.m. - Checked on a vehicle with someone sleeping in it and found they had stopped to rest during a trip.

'Suspicious' man who fled from police located, arrestedAuthorities became interested in Eaton earlier in the day Tuesday, when representatives of Hauch Storage on Woodbury Avenue called police to say Eaton was sleeping on the floor of a storage unit he was renting, Tretter said. Five officers pulled Eaton out of a swamp after using a Taser on him, Tretter said.

In Santa Cruz we called it "Sleep Crime". People can't pay rent so they sleep in vans and cars and storage units. The police are called to strong arm them because if they aren't paying rent then rent prices may fall. That would impact housing prices etc. So sleeping becomes a crime, the only crime you can commit while in R.E.M. This is bullshit. Live Free or Die? How about "Pay Rent or Get Tasered in a Swamp." Fucking medieval.

Evil Genius Fakes Death, Continues Assault on American Youth

"Time after time, he sold people on a product they didn't know they needed until he invented it."

Don't be fooled by Steve Jobs "death" notices. DO NOT BE FOOLED! Steve Jobs is an evil genius and this latest stunt to conceal his devious motives is so transparent as to be laughable. Sure, the richest man in America died. I'll bet. Don't you find it a little coincidental that a few days after I reenter the United States to renew my campaign to alert Americans that they are being manipulated by an evil genius, the same evil genius "dies"? That's because he didn't die. He is somewhere out there in the digital pyramid he created at Disneyland, plotting his next attack on the intellects of the young. Jobs methodically built up a company that turned natural resources into gadgets and pollution. He left the pollution in China and Thialand while the gadgets went to Los Angeles and San Francisco where his ministers of manipulation packaged them as clean and worry free "time savers".

Jobs has taken over Disney, taken over computing, taken over music and his fake death will only enable him to go under cover and do his dirty work with less scrutiny by one Oggy Bleacher. But I will not rest until the truth is known. Jobs is alive and well but his motives are more devious than ever. Beware!

Think of how diabolical his 1984 television ad is. It uses propaganda to shroud its own propaganda. This is modern propaganda: people know this is a hard sell so let's show that we know that they know this is a hard sell and still make a soft sell. Fight back.

"The so-called "ecosystem" concept may be one of Jobs' most lasting contributions to global business. The idea is simple: create a closed universe of hardware, software and services that -- thanks to tight integration -- provide a superior experience for users."

In under 200 years we went from Darwin, Emerson, Thoreau, Carson, and Muir writing and celebrating ecological diversity to the evil genius redefining ecosystems as something related to an ultra-high resource gadget that has laid waste to the environment as...an "ecosystem". Brilliant: When popular lexicon subverts your buisiness plan, change it.

Where Steve Jobs is today remains a mystery, but we must remain vigilant. He may have faked his own death to better survey and attack Americans with his latest media manipulations but that doesn't mean we can relax. The basic rules of life are: Think for yourself. Your grandparents didn't have Apple gadgets but they managed to live full lives. Today, commerce shuts down without some kind of high tech gadget...while the economy that your grandfather worked to strengthen has completely shit the bed. Why? Apple Inc. relies on public ignorance of the environmental holocaust their gadgets demand. Their promise is that they are helping to raise the standard of living but the reality is that they are guaranteeing a permanant class of working poor by dangling digital gadgets in front of plodding donkeys. That's the future that Steve Jobs is now working for from his secret location and his plans will be thwarted as long as we keep our eyes open and repeat this simple mantra: "Steve Jobs is not my friend. He's merely a guy who makes and sells expensive shit."

No Resemblance

I'm A Hooker

I'll do anything for money...except work. These hooked rugs were selling like fried dough doused in butter at the fair. I'm increasing my value for the latest fiber arts craze.

Freyburg 2011

A blind accordionist playing Polka tunes.


Two odd things. This is a mechanical gas pump (on the border of Maine and NH on Rt. 25) and there was another pump that sold "Real Gas" with no ethanol for $1 more per gallon.


This Tractor basically obeys the driver's will. He has tamed the tractor with his girth.

Story Land 1977: Nathan wants to go on the big boy rides.
I whine. "He always gets to do what he wants. I want to go on the buccaneer pirate ship too!"
I'm too short. My mother looks stunning in a peasant dress and paisley blouse. My father frets and frowns wearing plaid pants.
"Don't go too far away. Oggy! That's far enough!"
I pout until my mother comforts me. Then I get stung by a bee on the hand as I reach around a white railing.
"It hurts!"
Dad buys me a consolation ice cream cone that tastes like real milk and sugar. It melts on my hand. My mother washes my hand for me in a faucet and then says "Lets go on a tour! In a pumpkin pulled by a horse!"
I'll do anything to please her and we get in this pumpkin carriage that now is on exhibit at the Freyburg fair. It's been retired, much like my family, as within 2 years it had melted away like a vanilla ice cream cone on a hot summer day.
"Look, Oggy, do you see the ducks?"
And if I saw them or not I would say, "Yes."



Two years in a row I've been in Freyburg for the fair. Last year I was recovering from the night on bald mountain with no light. This year I took the $15 plunge and saw a few things I liked. One was the Sky Diver ride that is my ultimate nostalgia carnival ride because Brad and I went on one of those in 1982 (maybe this same one) when the carnival came to the south mill pond when the hot songs on the DJ'd rides were "Abracadabra" by Steve Miller and "Hurts So Good" by John Mellencamp and "Hold Me" by Fleetwood Mac. Any time I hear those songs I will think of this ride. This particular ride, Sky Diver, was our favorite. Brad was probably stoned or drunk and that's why he had so much fun but I was totally sober and laughed because at the very height of the circle we had turned upside down and all the quarters in our pockets came tumbling out (we had probably $20 of quarters in our pockets) and filled the compartment with money that actually hovered in front of our eyes weightless until the descent began and our stomachs turned and my red sox hat fell and the money slipped through the window cages to the greedy hands on the ground below. We laughed as only 11 year olds can laugh.


Newest sensation? Pork Wings. Sounds gross. looked gross. Wouldn't buy them. Wouldn't love them. Fried oreo cookies on the other hand...

Pictured below is the prettiest girl at the 4H club exhibit at the fair, wrangling her two prize oxen. I followed her around trying to get a better picture until I got distracted by the fabric arts exhibit, where I bought rug hooking material for my latest "get rich slowly" scheme. The shape of her body in those painted-on jeans as she poured water for the oxen and fed them hay really gave me hope for humanity. Nothing else about this fair made me feel the way I felt when I looked at her. Her smile, untainted by Cosmopolitan or People magazine, was worth the $15 admission.


Later on a Patsy Cline tribute band played and old folks danced in the misty night. Then I went to sleep until someone banged on the side of my van at 2 am:
"Hey in theyah!"
"Yes?"
"Yah Goht tah moov yah vahn. I gaht two truahks gottah pahk heah in hahf an owah!"
"Ok. I'll move. I'm sorry for the inconvenience."

That's how New England welcomed back their long lost native son.