Old Man Probably Buying Last Car Battery

84 year old Dwayne Richards figures that this is the last car battery he will ever buy, Richards reported on Sunday.
"Yeah, I got about 5 years out of the last battery and I've been getting treatment for heart disease and prostate cancer, so, yeah, this will probably be the last car battery I buy."
Doing some math in his head he concluded, "I'll never make it to 89. I don't even want to make it to 87. My grand kid graduates college next year. I figure that will be it. They don't need me around."

Sources reported Richards had a massive cardiac arrest while carrying the car battery to the car.

President Declares May 13 "Visit Your Neighbor's Basement" Day

"It's come to this," says President

Citing the chilling discovery of a basement dungeon in urban Cleveland, a veritable torture chamber and sex prison maintained for a decade under the noses of an entire city, President Obama has declared May 13th 2013 "Visit Your Neighbor's Basement" Day.

With one swipe of his pen the President hopes to encourage neighbors to actually knock on the doors of their neighbors and visit one another...you know, like a real neighborhood.

Milk Cow

storm on the plains

Obama Care Works: Milk Cow Blues at his new luxury apartment

I'm laughing to think of the documentary that I'd make of Milk Cow and his spiral towards death. The Puerto Rican fags. The Vicodin, the crippled feet, the spine problems, falling down in the street and having a car full of kids run his new glasses over...his beer spilling like tears. Now the ragged tent near the abandoned chicken coop. The challenge would be to make the audience laugh with him and not at him. But humanity has become so ironic and self absorbed that nothing is sacred. "It'll never happen again," they said of the Holocaust. So, 50 years later it's happening again and people are even more in denial now than before.

Once Upon Oggy's Dream

I rarely resort to a youtube movie clip repost but the news has been beyond bleak lately. I'm drinking long island iced tea with orange juice and I deal with 480 volts most of the day in 110 degree heat. I'm laughing because inches separate me from death and the loss of my fantasy Mexican lover has left me with the stark reality of heat and electricity and the constant growth and throwing money at custom guitar manufacturers. What is the point? Then I see a clip of Once Upon A Time in The West, my favorite Sergio Leone western...and I remember that amid the destruction and terror there is art and beauty and maybe the human experience is forced to encompass all of it for any of it to have meaning. If this movie doesn't give me hope and perspective then nothing will.

Dirty News

Please someone scrub my brain clean from what I just read on CNN. They find horror stories like a junkie finds crack.