Get in Line Foremost Insurance - You Assholes

"Dear Oggy Bleacher :

Our records show that coverage for your auto insurance policy has been cancelled for nonpayment of premium.  There is a balance due in the amount of $20.00 on your account. 

If a payment in the amount of $20.00 is not received by 4/12/2013, we may use a collections agency to assist us in collecting the past due balance.  This may adversely affect your credit rating."

I was in the city hall registering my van in Texas the other day and she handed me a $200 invoice and although people were waiting I asked, "What did I pay for?" and that simple question is something I want everyone to start asking. All these penalties and fines and bullshit and taxes..."Ok, but what am I paying for?"
"That's our policy, Mr. Bleacher."
"Fine, but what's the money for?"
"$90 is for fees assessed."
"What does that mean? There are five other numbers on that invoice so are those not also fees assessed?"
"Those are different categories."

Motherboarding

I should open my own repair service as long as it is an old moped or an obsolete ipod. You might ask why I would go through the trouble and expense of repairing a motherboard of an old ipod but this particular 4th generation 40gb black and white ipod has a remote control port that none of the new ones have. And I own the remote control and have it rigged in my van so I can change songs on the go by reaching up to the ceiling above my head as I drive. The alternative was letting go of the wheel and getting out of the seat at 40mph and quickly skipping that Sade song in favor of something by The Nitty Gritty Dirt Band. That's against the law even in liberal Texas.

Declining Health

While my mental state has bounced back from the depths I've noticed the beginning of finger tremors that indicate Parkinson's Disease. I was diagnosed with Hodgkin's disease in Alaska and given a few years to live. Another doctor said I'd never run again because of a ruptured Achilles tendon and fractured heel bone and he was sort of right. But this Parkinson's Disease is the progressive decay of nervous system as motor functions cease.  The middle finger on my right hand now dances in circles to an Afro-cuban rhythm that only it can hear.

Vespa Ciao Rear Brakes

If you are looking at this then you took the wrong route to the rear brakes.

So, I'm driving down the brakedown lane on my 1974 Vespa Ciao. I run over a 5'' roofing nail and it punctures the tire and actually goes through to the other side of the tire, tearing two holes in the tire and two holes in the inner tube causing a minor crash.

Fast forward a few days later to when I ordered two 2.25/17 inner tubes from a shop in California since nothing that size is available around here. The tubes arrived.

I take the rear wheel off and really struggle to take that tire off and replace the inner tube. The rim liner needed to be replaced but I forgot to order one so I had to mess with that and in turning the rim upside down all the gear oil from the rear hub poured out onto my rug. I didn't care about the rug and after puncturing one inner tube by being sloppy I got the thing installed again...and took it for a ride... and after speeding through town to get to the library I ran directly into the bike rack because the rear brake didn't work. Why didn't the rear brake work? Because the oil from the hub had leaked into the brake assembly and contaminated the pad.

Unicornio Azul

I'm clearing the hard drive of stray song recordings as I feel I'm going to be going back to work soon in a big way...moving...or else being off the grid so there will be no time.
My mom turned me on to this song by Silvio Rodriguez, one of the trovadore singer/songwriters. I prefer Fernando Delgadillo but he sings so fast that it will take a long time to learn one of his songs.