Saturday, March 30, 2013

Get in Line Foremost Insurance - You Assholes

"Dear Oggy Bleacher :

Our records show that coverage for your auto insurance policy has been cancelled for nonpayment of premium.  There is a balance due in the amount of $20.00 on your account. 

If a payment in the amount of $20.00 is not received by 4/12/2013, we may use a collections agency to assist us in collecting the past due balance.  This may adversely affect your credit rating."

I was in the city hall registering my van in Texas the other day and she handed me a $200 invoice and although people were waiting I asked, "What did I pay for?" and that simple question is something I want everyone to start asking. All these penalties and fines and bullshit and taxes..."Ok, but what am I paying for?"
"That's our policy, Mr. Bleacher."
"Fine, but what's the money for?"
"$90 is for fees assessed."
"What does that mean? There are five other numbers on that invoice so are those not also fees assessed?"

"Those are different categories."

And these assholes at 

"Make a payment online using a check or credit card. Visit and select the link to "Check your auto policy online". Enter your policy holder information and proceed to make a payment"

Fat chance. I talked to the agent when my policy expired and I said I'd been a customer for 3 years, made no claims, nothing, about  $1400 worth of premiums. Do I get that money back?
"And still you want your $20? What is it for?"
"For allowing you policy to lapse."
"But what's the money go to? I no longer have an account."
"It's a penalty for missing a payment."
"But where does that money go? Who has to work because I missed a payment on a nonexistent account?"
"That's our policy. How would you like to pay?"
"How about can call up Citizen's Bank and collectively sell my $129 debt to junk bond traders in Thailand and they can divide it up and amortize their assholes with the hedge fund morality that dwells under their gold mattress and collectively eat shit and die. Would that work? Because that's my policy, to give as much shit as possible to predatory corporate fuckwads like you."
"Not one dime will you ever see of that $20. You can sow my credit rating with salt and I'll never pay you."

I'm so tired of the slight of hand financial tricks by these cunts with false teeth and Swiss bank accounts. I've got nothing to lose so I can be an asshole but I feel bad for those with land on the table and Constables doing dirty work.


dickgumshoe said...

Oggy, the answer to your problem is close by. Simply jump into your uninsured van and go to the intersection of Elk road and EE Ranch road in Waco TX. Turn left on Double EE Ranch rd. and you are there. Ask for Vernon Wayne Howell. He is a legend at solving problems like you have. Good Luck and welcome to the real world.

Oggy Bleacher said...

Vernon tested the limits of freedom in the land of the free and is with the lord now. I'll choose my own path to salvation.

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Man in the Van by Oggy Bleacher is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 3.0 Unported License.