Bending It Like Bleacher

If there is someone out there who could explain the procedure for bending conduit like rigid or emt then I need some help. It isn't the measuring or the dozens of fittings and seals and offsets and struts and concrete anchors and compressors running in my ear that give me problems but the order of operations.
you plot a route, then measure, then plot a route based off your measurement, then visualize all the fittings that will add additional length, then subtract radius take ups. Conduit is a one shot deal...you don't get a second try.

170 × 113 - fotosearch.com

It's hard to tell what is a pipe for fluid or gas and what is a pipe for wires. I think the best way is to look at the fittings.

Today was kind of a nightmare as 99 degree hell fire broke loose and two injured workers seemed to suffer through their injuries but it was a cluster fuck of wrong measurements. And when you measure wrong with conduit and you have already gone through the effort of cutting and threading the pipe (involving an electric threader that threw me head over ass with torque like a tractor) and you see that it would be better to take off a half inch or maybe 3/4 of an inch, well, you've basically moved at least an inch (multiply by 2) closer to being fired because this is not wood and that .5 inch will cost everyone and the whole project 5-10 minutes if everything goes smoothly.
So, if there's anyone who has spent 70 hours a week bending conduit for class 1 division 1 hazardous atmospheres then please get in touch with me and explain how you learned without getting fired. What's a good METHOD...step 1. step 2. step 3? I need to get this right the first time and not be the asshole who is .5 inches off every time.
I hear a lot of people say about a cut, "We'll make it work." at noon and by 3pm what they really meant was "We'll do it all over again."
I'm too lowly to be making cuts and bends right now so trust me that of 5 people I can only ask my boss any questions and expect to get a good answer. And if all the veterans are still fucking up then I'm afraid it's harder than it looks. That's where you come in with good advice.

I have to say that after a few days of looking for tutorials on the internet I realize anyone who knows how to use a camera and upload shit HAS NO IDEA HOW TO BEND CONDUIT. The only skilled folks had nothing to do with the video or else have no idea how to explain themselves. It's really pitiful. I work in the remote plains of Texas and one video says I should use a blow dryer to heat pvc pipe to bend it. Yeah, FYI, we use the exhaust fumes from the trencher. I haven't seen a single real life example of how to run conduit. Not one trench. Not one pipe strap. Not one angry boss. Not one heat stroke coworker. Not one rattlesnake. Not one oil truck. Not one dust storm. Not one disconnect box. Nothing to make me think there are people with cameras doing real work in the real world.

Girls Generation

I've been listening to a lot of K-Pop because I don't think I'm perverse enough. The girl's shirt reads, "Another label, another boy" which is exactly how I feel lately...
 I dare you to turn it off.

Bellbottom Cowboy

There's been a load of compromising...on the road to my horizon

I'm like a long line of compromising hypocrites before me who ends up leaving behind an adventurous way of life for steady money. But I'm also curious and really the path of the contrarian had grown dry and predictable. I was given a rare glimpse into my future last year and I saw no point in continuing on that path. The Borg assimilates everyone and it's even worse if you resist. It's not futile because it's possible and maybe you'd rather etch your own obituary with the chisels of your pride, but like Winston learned in 1984, Big Brother is on your side. He loves you. 2+2=5 because it's a test of your devotion. The boot that stomps your face is benevolent. If you have nothing to hide then you shouldn't be offended by complete lack of privacy. Give me my bellbottom pants and my cowboy hat and take all the other shit.

One more paycheck...

This is the legend I've been chasing for 5 years

Paradoxically

All that was required for me to be a good employee was the financial security to pay no attention to any politics or threat of being fired and simply attempt to dedicate my complete will power and skill set to the company, regardless of what people think. Previously, my need to bite my tongue at the idiocy of management was basically because I couldn't afford to lose the job. Now that I'm in the golden hours of single paychecks that eclipse whole years in the past if I see something that irks me then I attempt to fix it. I don't care who is to blame and I don't care if I'm fired or not. All that matters is that I create the company that I want to stay employed by.
There's a socialist reform lesson somewhere in there but I'm not in the mood to explain it. Gotta take a dump and a shower and go get some rotisserie chicken at Stripes. And there's a Portlandia marathon later today. No complaints here. That J Carruthers guitar is almost within reach.

People say the test question to be an employee here is, "How do you build a table if they give you a hammer and no nails?"
I have heard many replies. What is yours?